EFT Tapping To Stop Self-Sabotage
How To Use EFT Tapping To Stop Self-Sabotage?
In this article, you'll learn about what self-sabotage is, the possible signs and causes, and how you can overcome it using EFT Tapping Therapy which has proven to be an effective alternative therapy to help individuals cope with their fears, and heal the root cause.
Did you ever wish to have something really great in your life? You put all your efforts and work really hard to achieve those dreams.
And then boom! You just go ahead and sabotage everything - of course, without meaning to.
Perhaps you're worried and anxious when you're attempting to accomplish something significant. As a result, you may become increasingly frustrated, dismayed, and furious with yourself.
These emotions entrap you and prevent you from accomplishing your goals.
And then you start wondering - "Where did I go wrong?", " Maybe it was something I did," or sometimes even blaming other people or situations for things not going the right way for you.
Sometimes the failure even comes with justifications.
The thing is, we seldom mean to sabotage ourselves. It's not generally a conscious decision to spoil things. Then we're left wondering, "Why did I do that?!"
Many of our emotional drivers remain unconscious, which is why chronic self-saboteurs will often use conscious justification (or what seem like excuses) to explain why they had to:
- Eat that piece of cake when they'd decided to keep off sugar
- Yell at a co-worker and make a fool of themselves in the process
- Procrastinate until it was too late and the damage was done
If this sounds familiar, you could be sabotaging yourself.
“Self-Sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.”
- Alyce p. cornyn shelby
WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE?
Sabotage is the deliberate attempt to damage, destroy, or hinder a cause or activity.
When this destructive activity is focused on yourself, when the behaviour causes issues in daily life and interferes with long-term goals, it is referred to as self-sabotage.
It occurs when we harm our success and wellbeing by compromising personal goals and beliefs, or when we ruin ourselves physically, intellectually, or emotionally.
Procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and self-injury such as cutting are among the most common self-sabotaging activities.
You might not even realise you're doing it at first. People aren't always conscious that they're sabotaging themselves, and just because a behaviour has self-defeating effects doesn't mean they'll stop doing it.
Negative habits, on the other hand, might be regarded as a sort of psychological self-harm when they repeatedly undercut your attempts.
Even so, practically any sort of self-sabotage may be overcome.
SIGNS OF SELF-SABOTAGE
Self-sabotage can indicate various signs, each of which is specific to the individual. However, here are a few of the most common forms of self-sabotage:
- Procrastination: We all procrastinate from time to time: skipping the work projects in favour of another Netflix episode, putting off writing that report in order to tidy our office, or rescheduling that dentist appointment yet again. Procrastination is one of the most common forms of self-sabotage since it involves delaying something even though we know it would be better if we didn't.
- Chronic worry: This becomes ingrained in people's minds because it provides them with a feeling of control and assurance. Worrying temporarily makes you feel like you can do something while you're feeling helpless or uncertain. However, it is never productive in the long run and leads to excessive levels of worry.
- Intimacy and commitment issues: Many people have developed the habit of quitting or damaging otherwise solid friendships and sexual relationships on purpose. These individuals frequently struggle with emotional sensitivity and are terrified of being wounded. They end up undermining these same relationships as a sort of anxiety relief, despite the fact that it affects their long-term worth of establishing meaningful connections.
- Substance abuse: Because, despite the short-term rewards, regular drug and alcohol addiction almost always interferes with our long-term goals and ideals, it is a prevalent kind of self-sabotage. For instance, those two or three beers you have just after you get home from work make it difficult to be present with your children and spouse. (1)
There are many more examples of self-sabotage, but these are the most common ones.
But keep in mind that all of these symptoms are even normal and not necessarily indicative of a serious problem.
For example, we all procrastinate from time to time. We all use food or other substances for emotional reasons, not just nutritional reasons, on occasion.
When these things become consistent behaviours with major negative consequences, though, it's time to take a closer look.
ADDICTION AND SELF-SABOTAGE
Unfortunately, self-sabotage is a pretty regular occurrence among addicts. This is because addiction is a sort of self-sabotage in and of itself, and addicts are masters at it.
Instead of dealing with bad thoughts, feelings, and situations, addicts will turn to drugs and alcohol to escape their difficulties, causing a much larger problem to emerge.
Because of a lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-belief, self-sabotage is common in an addicts' life.
Furthermore, some people struggle to manage their everyday emotional experiences and interactions with others in ways that stymie growth and prevent them from achieving their goals and objectives.
When addicts begin to feel in control of their recovery, or when things go too good, they undermine it.
Despite the fact that they willingly agree to being healthier and feeling better, this new way of life might feel strange and unsettling, no matter how hard they try to adopt a clean, sober, and joyful lifestyle.
It's extremely difficult for them to break old habits, attitudes, and actions because they've known one way for so long (usually a destructive road, but weirdly familiar and comfortable nonetheless). (3)
WHY DO PEOPLE SELF-SABOTAGE?
There are a variety of reasons why someone can act in a way that is harmful to their health.
When you perform activities that were adaptive in one context but are no longer necessary in another, you are committing self-sabotage.
In other words, these actions assisted you in adapting to and surviving problems in a past environment, such as a painful upbringing or a poisonous relationship.
They could have comforted or defended you. However, when your situation changes, these coping mechanisms may become problematic.
Let's take a deeper look at some of the major contributors.
Patterns learned in childhood:
Patterns established in our first relationships frequently repeat themselves in later partnerships. These patterns have a stronghold on us.
They have sentimental value for us, and it is difficult to let them go. Let's pretend you had a parent that only paid attention to you when they were upset.
You know it's not a smart idea to enrage folks. However, due to this background, there's something really intriguing about it.
Getting people furious was the only way to get their attention, so you're locked in a cycle where it's tempting, even appealing, to make people angry with you.
You may find it difficult to communicate successfully in your present relationships if you haven't felt supported or heard when asking for what you need in previous relationships, romantic or otherwise.
You may not have been able to stand out for yourself if you had an abusive partner or one who simply didn't care about your views and feelings.
To protect yourself from anger, rejection, and other terrible experiences, you remained silent. As a result, you never learned to speak up for yourself.
Fear of failure:
You may unwittingly hinder your efforts to succeed when you don't want to fail at your dream profession, in your relationship, or even as a decent parent.
If you don't want to fail, you'll avoid attempting. You can't fail if you don't try, right? As a result, your subconscious mind may come up with excuses and ways for you to destroy yourself.
Consider the following scenario: you're in a newer relationship that's going great. You believe it's only a matter of time before something happens to put a stop to it. You tell yourself, "This is too good." “It's not going to last.” (2)
WAYS TO OVERCOME SELF-SABOTAGE
The key to stopping self-sabotage is to understand why you're doing it and what needs to be done to overcome it. Then brainstorm methods to meet that desire in a better, less damaging manner.
Here are some simple methods for identifying your self-sabotage habits and resolving them once and for all:
Understand the need your self-sabotage fills:
The majority of people who attempt to halt self-sabotage make the error of approaching it with a "tough on myself" mentality. They convince themselves that now is the moment to get their act together and put an end to all of this nonsense.
Being "tough" on oneself, on the other hand, is a kind of self-sabotage because, while it may feel wonderful at the moment, it usually leads to you missing the most critical first step in overcoming self-sabotage: recognising the need that the self-sabotaging behaviour satisfies. And you can't do it without some compassion for yourself.
Go sympathetic with yourself and commit to an understanding before you get tough on yourself and commit to changing.
Learn what sets you off:
Take note of when you sabotage yourself once you've figured out how you do it. What causes you to feel compelled to act out?
Perhaps your partner's aggressive tone reminds you of being yelled at as a child. Even when the fury isn't directed at you, you constantly shut down.
Keep a journal of your triggers. Mindfulness, which is defined as a nonjudgmental awareness of one's thoughts and activities in the present moment, can also be beneficial.
Increase your tolerance for unpleasant emotions:
It will be emotionally difficult at times, no matter how well you organise and execute your new alternate habits.
It's important to remember that just because an emotion feels awful doesn't mean it is. And, while emotions can be unpleasant at times, they are neither hazardous nor morally evil.
Talk about it:
If you see specific trends in your relationships, talk to the individuals who matter most to you about them.
Simply talking out loud about a self-destructive tendency can prevent you from acting on it. Plus, when the situation goes in a different direction — not down the path of self-sabotage — it can be a profound learning experience. (4)
Emotional Freedom Techniques:
EFT Tapping is a mind-body technique which helps to stop self-sabotage by discovering the root cause or the emotions and working on it.
One method of finding out what your pattern is, is by using Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT). EFT Tapping gets to the base of the fear, or whatever is holding you back, and removes it.
For those new to EFT, it is also known as Tapping Therapy, which combines tapping on acupressure points while saying statements out loud to accept situations.
If you would like to experience the power of EFT Tapping first hand, just download the EFT Tapping Booklet below.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping heals, including Anxiety.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
EFT TAPPING TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE
In what area(s) of your life do you think you might be (consciously or unconsciously) sabotaging yourself? Bring to mind any incidents where you suspected self-sabotage, and tap along.
Karate Chop: Even though I have a feeling I might be sabotaging my efforts, I say one thing and do another, and it leaves me feeling victimised at my hands, I deeply and completely accept all of myself. (3 times).
Eyebrow: Why do I do this? going against myself, doing stupid stuff
Side of the eye: That comes back to bite me
Under the eye: What's wrong with me?
Under the nose: Don't I want me to succeed?
Under the mouth: Don't I want me to be happy?
Collarbone: Then why .. why do I get in my way?
Under the arm: I love making things harder for myself, don't I?
Top of the head: Why do I do this?
Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I make things harder for myself I am open to the possibility of loving myself anyway.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Karate Chop: Even though I am not even aware I am self-sabotaging till it is too late, I love and accept myself (3 times).
Eyebrow: I'm not even aware I'm doing it until it's too late
Side of the eye: If a good thing can come my way
Under the eye: I make sure that it doesn't
Under the nose: Who can I count on if not me?
Under the mouth: I'm supposed to be my best friend!
Collarbone: When did I learn to be my worst enemy?
Under the arm: Who taught me to be this way?
Top of the head: It's almost a habit, on auto-pilot
Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though self-sabotaging has become a habit, suppose somehow I can consciously stop being my enemy.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Karate Chop: Even though I have beaten myself up for the mistakes that I made, I love and accept myself
Eyebrow: Beating myself up hasn't worked
Side of the eye: Would forgiveness help?
Under the eye: Considering forgiveness for my actions...
Under the nose: Choosing compassion toward myself
Under the mouth: Allowing myself to look past my actions
Collarbone: To really understand why I do what I do
Under the arm: Promising to support myself no matter what
Top of the head: I wonder if I can turn it around...
Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I can beat myself up, I am open to being compassionate towards myself.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
Karate Chop: Even though I really love him, what if I could give him and me the space to heal and not take it personally and wholeheartedly love and accept myself.
Eyebrow: Yes I can turn around my situation
Side of the eye: Yes I can do it!
Under the eye: I can be myself
Under the nose: I love this change around me
Under the mouth: This is making me feel better
Collarbone: It was simply a habit, which I am empowered to change
Under the arm: I am becoming my best friend
Top of the head: I am becoming my best friend!
Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I was self-sabotaging, that was then and this is now, I am grateful for becoming my best friend and being empowered. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Breathe in and out and take a sip of water
DOES EFT REALLY WORK TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE?
Aileen Nobles explains how she used EFT to assist a client in overcoming his self-destructive behaviour. She recognised he had been utilising self-sabotage as a defensive strategy since childhood as a result of the process.
Edward was a very creative musician and an engineer by profession. He had always dreamed of making incredible healing music as part of his contribution to the world.
He also managed to self-sabotage and procrastinate to the degree that nothing really happened. He still had to earn his living doing a job that did not resonate with his heart and soul.
Edward was very spiritual and insightful and, after a lot of soul-searching, had come to the realisation that he was afraid of finishing projects, as they kept him in a “safe” known place.
As long as everything remained the same, it was uncomfortably comfortable.
Therefore, he sabotaged opportunities that came his way that would have allowed him to move forward, and, he procrastinated. I think a lot of people can probably relate to that. It’s a pattern that so many struggle with.
We talked about what he was afraid of in his future, and tapped on being worthy of realising his dreams.
Edward felt an enormous shift happening during this time, but he still had tension in his solar plexus. In his mind’s eye, it was grey, the size of a football, and amorphous and gooey.
We tapped the fear in the solar plexus away, and then he ran a movie of imagining himself accomplishing all he needed to do—no resistance.
He felt lighter than he ever remembered.
Edward is now diligently working on his music, creating like never before. He is finally out of his way and happier than ever before. (5)
So in closing, be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Use this EFT Tapping for self-sabotage script till you feel empowered enough.
P.S. Here is another tapping sequence to let go, forgive and move on.
Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, self-sabotage patterns can be really exhausting and distressing, but you can always overcome it by talking about it or even better, with EFT Tapping. With EFT, you can clear the root cause and release all the negativity. Take your time and do what you think is best for you when the time comes.
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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