How I tapped surrogately for my teenage son

"Being a teenager is an amazing time and a hard time." Sophia Bush

Has your teenage son or daughter ever shut down on you. Mine had. And it can get very frustrating.

Tapping aka Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) has help me feel calmer.  

My son saw me tapping and tried to imitate me.

Phew! I achieved a milestone.

 What’s more after just two days, he shared his feelings with me.

I was now aware of his ups and downs, his fears, his expectations he had of himself and others, his struggle to overcome his issues.

The coach in me wanted to advise him and teach him EFT.

However he was not ready! Another road block.

I then decided to try surrogate tapping which is super effective, especially if you want to work on children or adults that are closed up.

For those of you that are new to surrogate tapping, it involves stepping into the space of the individual and tapping on behalf of them.

Surrogate tapping is also effective for those wanting to work with infants or animals.

Learn how EFT Tapping heals

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

So there are 2 approaches to surrogate tapping.

One is to the step inside the person and imagine what they are feeling and tap on yourself and the other is to describe what might be going on for them as an observer and tap on yourself. 

The steps to the first method is outlined below:

1. Bring the person to your mind

2. Imagine stepping into their body

3. Breathe how they’re breathing

4. Feel how they’re feeling.

5. Then ask yourself, how are they feeling?

6. Tap on yourself as if you are them

Round 1: 

Karate Chop: Even though I’m so scared and overwhelmed, I love and accept myself. (3 times).

Eyebrow:  I am so scared.

Side of the eye: I am so overwhelmed.

Under the eye: I am so confused.

Under the nose: There are so many issues.

Chin: I don’t know what to do.

Collarbone: I need help.

Under the arm: But I’m scared of judgement.

Thumb: Whom should I speak to?

Index Finger: Can I trust my parents?

Middle Finger: Will they understand my feelings?

Little Finger: Can I really trust them?

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am scared and overwhelmed, and I don’t know whom to trust with my issues, I am open to the possibility of non judgement. I love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 2

Karate Chop: Even though I am stressed out and overwhelmed. I don’t know whom to trust. I love a accept myself (3 times).

Eyebrow: I'm so stressed out.

Side of the eye: I am overwhelmed.

Under the eye: I wish these problems just go away.

Under the nose: I am scared I will be judged.

Chin: Judged for my ideas.

Collarbone: Judged because I want to take up body building.

Under the arm: I don’t want to be laughed at.

Thumb: I want to do well in my studies too.

Index Finger: I don’t know if I will be successful.

Middle Finger: And my mother is constantly questioning me.

Little Finger: I am not her baby anymore.

Top of the head: I choose to breathe now (breathe in and out while tapping).

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am stressed and confused. I feel like my head is going to burst. Suppose somehow I could find the answers and be relieved.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 3

Karate Chop: Even though I would like to open up to my friends and my mother, I am apprehensive I love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I want to open up.

Side of the eye: I know i can get help.

Under the eye: I know I can help myself too.

Under the nose: Maybe I’m just blowing my issues out of proportion.

Chin: Maybe they’re not so big.

Collarbone: What if I could step back?

Under the arm: What if I could learn to trust?

Thumb: I can trust my friends and family.

Index Finger: I can trust myself.

Middle Finger: I can get an opinion.

Little Finger: That is their issue not mine.

Top of the head: Suppose somehow I find a solution to my problem without any support, I am so grateful to be a teenager.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I have issues now. I know I can trust my friends, family and myself. I love and accept myself completely as I am without judgments.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 4

Karate Chop: Even though I really love my mom and sometimes I’m rude with her, especially when I know she cares for me, I whole-heartedly love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I am allowing myself to love myself.

Side of the eye: I am allowing myself to not judge myself.

Under the eye: Suppose I can trust whole-heartedly.

Under the nose: Not shutting down completely.

Chin: May be sharing just a little.

Collarbone: May be trusting myself a little.

Under the arm: I love myself more.

Thumb: I am sorry for all the ways I have shut down to me.

Index Finger: I am grateful to my mother for her willingness to help.

Middle Finger: I am grateful she loves to interfere.

Little Finger: I know she is here for me.

Top of the head: I love myself for being able to trust again.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I was stressed and overwhelmed, that was then and this is now, I am grateful for having the support I need. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Once the tapping is complete, step outside the persons body. Shake yourself off. Take a deep breath.

Stay blessed and keep tapping.

Love Rangana

PS: To learn many such techniques taught at the EFT seminar. Join one and help yourself and your loved ones. Here's the tapping sequence I used to get rid of my frustration.

References:

  1. Don't bottle up your emotions- It'll knock years off your life and raise cancer risk by 70 percent - The daily mail UK, article by Pat Hagan
  2. The link between cancer and unexpressed anger - Psycho-oncology
  3. Tantrum Tapping - Blog, How important is energy? 3 daily exercises to boost yours
  4. Generalized anxiety disorder – The Mayo clinic
  5. Cortisol and anxiety reference  - The Effect of Emotional Freedom Techniques on Stress Biochemistry: A Randomized Controlled Trial, Church Dawson PhD *Yount, Garret PhD; Brooks, Audrey J. PhD‡ Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease
  6. Psychological Trauma in Veterans using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques): A Randomized Controlled Trial, Church, Hawk, Brooks et. al. 
  7. Forgiveness – your health depends on it, John Hopkins Institute

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.


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