What are boundaries and how to set healthy boundaries with EFT Tapping?

EFT Tapping to Set Boundaries

  How To Identify And Set boundaries With EFT Tapping

When you have healthy boundaries you feel calm and in control.  Learn what are personal and professional boundaries, how to set them with EFT Tapping and as an EFT Practitioner what are unhealthy boundaries and how to set healthy boundaries. 

Do you find saying NO difficult? Or you can’t help but help others even if it costs you peace or even health?

One of the reasons anyone exhibits such a pattern is because they are not familiar with the concept of boundaries or they are unable to set any.

What we mean by boundaries here has nothing to do with the physical limits or distancing. The word ‘boundaries’ implies setting limits or managing one’s responses in a way that does not take a toll on one’s emotional, mental or physical health.

The very concept is still alien to many people. This keeps people from understanding, setting and respecting boundaries for themselves and others.

Setting and respecting boundaries is still secondary. What is primal is to understand what boundaries are and how they can help you save your sanity. So, we might as well begin by exploring a little more about its concept first.

Setting Boundaries

What Are Boundaries?

We all know what a boundary is, a sort of a separator; between what is and is not, tolerable and intolerable, negotiable and non-negotiable. 

An imaginary line you set on what is acceptable and not acceptable to you. It is a form of a estandard you set that tells other people how they can treat you.

By setting a boundary, you are respecting yourself by not overextending yourself for somebody else. You create a space for yourself that allows you to explore your wants, needs, and desires without wanting to please others.

You gradually learn about boundaries as you grow up. Nobody learns them from the get-go. 

“It is necessary, even vital to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it”

- mandy hale

For example, Mindy fell in love with Greg. She loved everything about him - until they started living together.

He used to put the toilet seat up after using it, and leave his wet towel on the sofa instead of drying it outside. And expect Mindy to pick up after him. This aggravated her. 

She decided to talk to him and communicate that the way he treats her was not okay. 

She set up some boundaries that would be beneficial for both of them without either one of them feeling unhappy or disrespected. 

When we are in a relationship, sometimes we do not discuss things like these. We put up with being feeling how Mindy did for a number of reasons which we will discuss shortly hereafter.

One day my mother-in-law was visiting us. Without my permission, she started rearranging my kitchen. I was not at all okay with it. In my mind, she was crossing a boundary. 

Instead of talking to her about how I felt and enforcing a boundary of not touching things in my house without my permission, I let it fester. 

My mother-in-law obviously thought it was okay to continue what she was doing. 

Wiser heads prevailed when my husband sat all three of us down and we had a mature conversation. 

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

Many marriages around the world start with prenups. A prenup is a contract which lists what is tolerable and not tolerable in a marriage.

For example, If a spouse is guilty of infidelity, they will not be entitled to a certain sum of money, property, or anything deemed valuable to either party.

A prenup acts as a boundary which clearly states this is allowed, and this is not. It might be challenging, but it is clear communication. And communication is key. 

Any contract is as good as the words you put in it.  Sure, there will be grey areas in it, no denying that, it happens. But you cannot hold the other person responsible for it if they did not see it.

It takes two to tango. 

Why Is It So Important To Have Boundaries?

Simply put, if you don't set boundaries, others will be able to walk all over you. They will take advantage of the fact that you do not decide how others must treat you.

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”

- doreen virtue

What Are The Benefits Of Having Boundaries?


be yourself

It creates a separateness that allows you to be.. you. It allows you to have your own rules and norms about your life, your own feelings, and personal space. 



You take care of yourself. It allows you to be free of someone else’s worries and what they might think or do, and keeps accountability with the other person, and not on your shoulders. Boundaries help prioritise your well-being over anybody else's. 


realistic expectations

It is very easy to lose yourself in daydreams and not come to terms with the realities of life. Having boundaries in your life, whether with your co-workers, friends, family, partner, or spouse, opens up the path of communication to what is to be expected in that particular relationship. 


safe space

By placing boundaries, you create a safe space for yourself emotionally and physically. 

  • I am not comfortable with hugging
  • Please do not shout at me. It upsets me
  • Please do not invade my personal space. I feel uncomfortable

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

How To Identify You Need To Set Boundaries?

Many of us do not realise that we even need boundaries in our life! 

During my childhood, whenever any mail used to come, no matter who it was addressed to, my sister and I used to open them faster than you could say ‘monkey’. 

I did not realise that I was crossing a boundary. I learned that later in life.

So, how do you know you need to set boundaries? The following are some scenarios that will help you identify:


you often worry about other people might think

For example, "I like mango ice cream but my mother likes it when we have vanilla ice cream." 

"I do not like to watch horror movies but all my friends do, so I have to watch them."


Feeling guilty for doing things independently

For example, "I like to go for short treks but I feel guilty for going alone without my friends."


Not able to say ‘no’ or finding it hard to

Example: I cannot say no to whatever my child asks of me.

I do not want to go to my in-law’s house for Christmas but I am scared to say no.


Doing things you secretly did not want to

Example: I told my boss I will attend the office party even though I did not want to.


Sacrificing your well-being

Example: I have to make dinner even though I am un-well otherwise my family will not get a home-cooked meal. 


You feel you have to earn respect by being nice

Example: My colleagues will look up to me if I am kind towards them no matter what they say.

Saying no

What Are Unhealthy Boundaries?

In any relationship, when there is a lack of boundaries, where you do not feel valued, respected, you feel your best interests are not protected, and your mental, physical, and emotional needs are not met, these are called unhealthy boundaries.

What Are The Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries?

The following are some signs of unhealthy boundaries:

  1. Your relationships tend to be difficult or dramatic
  2. You have a hard time making decisions
  3. You are not able to let anybody down
  4. Anxiety and guilt become a part of your daily life
  5. You are often tired with no apparent reason
  6. You are either over-sharing or under-sharing both of which are unhealthy
  7. Constantly a victim of situations
  8. Feeling annoyed and irritated
  9. You secretly feel as if you do not get the respect you deserve
  10.  You are passive-aggressive
  11. You do know who you are
  12. Fear of rejection or abandonment

“We cannot set simultaneously a boundary and take care of another person’s feelings.”

- melodie beattie

What Are The Different Types Of Boundaries?

Say you have a certain way you expect your parents to behave when they are with you, or the way your boss treats you, or the way you like your sexual needs to be met. 

There are different types of boundaries in different aspects of your life. 

Personal Boundaries can be defined as the guidelines we make for ourselves in regards to our levels of comfort around other people. 

They can be related to physical contact, how others speak with us and/or our personal space. 

Emotional Boundaries

These are boundaries which protect our own emotional well-being. 

They have to do with how other people talk to us and treat us. 

As is the case with categories of boundaries, it is not always clear to us that some things require boundaries until they are crossed or violated.  And that is okay. 

Example:  You had a fight with your friend who called you an insulting name. You felt disrespected and hurt.

Physical Boundaries

You may not like to be physically touched by others. It makes you uncomfortable. 

Example: As a child, I never liked anybody hugging me, whether it be a friend or a family member. But I did not say anything because my mother told me,

“It is rude not to hug your grandfather, so just do it.”

Sexual Boundaries

We all have our own preferences for what we like, what we want to explore in our sexual life. Sexual boundaries decide how far we are willing to do sexually.

It is okay to explore your limits and that of your partners’ as well. So long as you both are comfortable in the limits that you have set. 

Workplace Boundaries

These are boundaries which you place at your office. These reflect how you carry yourself in the workplace setting and how you let your employers and colleagues treat  you. 

Example: Your boss asks you to stay back with him after office hours and you are not okay with that.

A colleague taking credit for a particularly arduous project when you were the one who did all the work.

During a meeting, your colleague speaks over you which you do not appreciate.

Material Boundaries

Once in college, I had left my bag on the desk, and the next thing I know? The cleaning lady is probing into my bag. I was very indignant at first, how could she just check into anybody’s bag?

That is why a boundary needs to be in place for how people treat your property and how you allow people to treat it. 

Time Boundaries

“Please do not call me after my work hours. I will be unavailable.”

“I will only be able to meet you during the weekend. I am busy.”

“No, it is not possible for me to help you at that time.”

Keeping time boundaries is essential because time is valuable. Especially yours. You need to make it clear how long you are going to wait, what are the permissible contact hours that work for you.

Why Am I Not Able To Set Boundaries?

It is not easy to set - let alone realise - where you need boundaries. In time, you learn. And as long as you learn - and I promise you will - you will be so much better off in life.

So, why do people not set boundaries? There could be a few reasons for it. Let us go through them: 



Explore your thoughts about why you are not able to set clear cut boundaries in your life. It is okay to be scared when you are doing something new, and that too for the first time. 



It is mostly similar to fear. You do not know what will happen, and sometimes a little bit of uncertainty is okay. but not too much, you do not to be absolutely sure before you act.


Not Knowing How

It sounds exactly as you read it. If you have grown up in a family where there was no concept of boundaries, chances are you simply do not know. Setting boundaries is a skill that can be learned.


Low Self Worth

You do not feel that you deserved to be loved or respected. Therefore, you put other people’s interests above your own, to prove that your worth is valued by tending to their needs. If you do not know what it is like to be respected, you wouldn’t know how to set boundaries in the first place!


People Pleasing

You do not want to upset anyone, or disappoint anyone. You want people to like you. Their perception of them matters more to you over anything else. 

Sometimes when you set a boundary,  other people may feel angry, or just confused. They are used to seeing you act and behave a certain way, and now suddenly, you are putting these limits on how they must behave around you, and treat you in a manner you expect them to. 

It happens, but you also need to understand the time, place, and your own judgement when you are enforcing boundaries. Why? People’s reactions can be unpredictable, volatile even. 

You need to be in a safe place in case the other person would want to harm you. 

Setting Boundaries with EFT Tapping


Have you ever had black coffee and wondered why it was so bitter? Have you ever treated a fever without knowing the cause? 

Similarly, have you wondered why it is so difficult for you to set boundaries when there might be a deeper, hidden cause behind it? 

Has something probably happened in your life that made you not set boundaries? Here are examples of what might be going on at the root cause that prevent boundaries being set:

1. childhood trauma

A reason could be that you were emotionally and or physically abused as a child. You could have just said yes to your caregiver in order to feel safe. To have your basic needs met. 

Growing up, such trauma could make you feel like your wants, needs, and likes do not matter. 

2. sexual abuse

Abuse can prevent you from setting boundaries.  Your offender did not choose to respect your boundaries of a safe and personal space, why should you? Sexual boundaries were being crossed or violated. 

Having a sense that something was off, but not knowing that a boundary being violated is wrong, one does not know what is happening.

As a child, if you were used to being on the receiving end of being sexually abused, as an adult you wouldn’t know how to communicate your feelings.

3. family values

These could also be a root cause. As a child, your brain is like a sponge. Soaking up everything by seeing, believing, and observing. Your childhood development is influenced by what goes on around you, what your parents have been teaching you. 

My mother had a problem with me even having a crush on a boy in school. She enforced it so strongly on me that it is wrong, that for a long time I thought having any friendly feelings towards men was wrong. 

Limited role models for healthy boundaries and self-care is something to be kept in mind. 

A mother keeps complaining that her son is constantly on his phone, when, in fact, the mother is doing the exact same thing.

Not placing a boundary on a growing child, such as, specific timings for watching tv, playing with friends etc. can impact the making for healthy boundaries as well.

When you have been taught to be a caretaker your entire life, your own needs and wants take a backseat to someone else's.

Some people may not even realise that they have the option of deciding what matters to them.

Not being allowed to have the need to be assertive in your life can hugely influence you to not set healthy boundaries. 

So how can Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) help?

With EFT you can tap on the EFT Tapping points to:

  • Clear the emotional charge associated with a boundary being crossed.
  • Resolve the root cause using the memory clearing techniques: Tell the story, Movie Technique, Tearless Trauma, and Inner Child Matrix for more intense Trauma. 
  • Explore limiting beliefs that prevent a boundary being formed, for example "I do not want to hurt others." or "I am scared of conflict" or "I am scared of being judged as a bitch."
  • Uncover fears that might be driving unhealthy boundaries. For example, Fear of being rejected, Fear of being abandoned, and fear of speaking up. With fears it can mean it is easier to keep the peace than to speak up and share your needs.
  • Build your inner confidence with EFT Tapping to feel empowered to know your boundaries and to be able to communicate them. 

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

How To Set Boundaries IN YOUR LIFE?

Boundaries are important for sure, but not easy to set. Mostly because people are not able to identify where they begin, or how to communicate with people. 

In order to start, you have to identify which type of boundary you want to set.


setting emotional boundaries

  • Approach the person you want to talk to
  • Calmly ask them to join you in a discussion on your topic.
  • Take responsibility if there was any cause for the argument/issue to go awry on your part
  • Tell them what you are okay with and what you are not in their treatment/behaviour towards you and you need them to accept these changes in the future.


Setting physical Boundaries

The best way to set these boundaries is before they become a problem. Communicate from the very start. 

  • If you see someone coming your way, wave at them before they engage in a hug or a handshake or a lean-in kiss if that is a physical contact you want to have a boundary placed on.
  • Another thing you can do is, smile and say “I do not shake hands/hug but I am so pleased to meet you!”
  • Do not apologise for the way you feel. You do not owe them any long explanations. 
  • If someone has invaded your personal space, you can say “Please can you step back. I am not comfortable when anyone is standing so close to me.”


Setting sexual Boundaries

  • Before initiating this chapter of your life in your relationship, sit down with your partner and engage in an open, honest, and healthy conversation about what you like, what you do not like, what and how far you are willing to explore, and other expectations you might have. 
  • If you change your mind in between an event, you are always allowed to say “I’m sorry but I do not want to do this anymore.”
  • Know that you do not have to go with whatever your partner asks of you if you are not comfortable with it.


Setting time Boundaries

  • Make the person understand that both of your times are valuable and punctuality ought to be maintained.
  • If they are late for an appointment or meeting with you, decide how long you are willing to wait for them
  • Give yourself permission to leave the event if they are too late or even cancel it altogether if they do not adhere to the set time. 


Setting workplace Boundaries

  • Setting your tone from the get-go is the best way to establish boundaries. 
  • Communicate with your boss or colleagues when they have breached a boundary. 
  • If your colleague/boss disrespects you, tell them that it is not okay and they cannot treat you as such. 
  • If boundaries are constantly breached, feel free to contact the human resources department of your office. 


Setting material Boundaries

  • If a friend wants to borrow some clothes from you and you are not okay with it, tell them so.
  • If you decide to lend your sister your camping backpack, make sure to tell her to take care of your belongings. 
  • My mother has a habit of “cleaning” my wardrobe which I absolutely do not like. It is a violation of my personal space and property. I told her so. Communicate with people how they should treat and respect your material possessions.

How TO SET Boundaries With THE Family WITH EFT TAPPING?

Your parents will try to parent you. Even though you are a fully grown adult. *SighFor them, you will always be their baby. That will not ever change. 

There are so many ways in which they may cross your boundaries:

  • Give advice when you did not ask for it.
  • Comment on your way of living: your food habits, your home, and your relationship choices.
  • Violate your space and privacy by looking through your things and cleaning up your "clutter"

Parents always want the best of you. Even if they mean to help in ways that they think is right, they end up crossing boundaries.

Other times, parents have a tough time giving up control. Having a firm belief that they know what is best for their adult children, they continue to interfere and violate boundaries.

Here are some ways where you can reinforce boundaries with your parents:

  1. Find out what is going on in their mind: Talk to them about what is going on with them. 
  2. Frame your boundaries with gratitude and appreciation: Talk to them calmly about what is bothering you. Frame  your sentences based on how you feel and not pointing the finger at them. You might want to sort out your own feelings with EFT Tapping. 
  3. Confront them directly: Do not let things fester until you reach your boiling point. 
  4. Be clear and specific: Use EFT Tapping to become clear of what you want and communicate it a manner that you can be heard. Once you have communicated your boundaries you need to stick to them. 
  5. Work with an EFT professional: Working with an EFT Practitioner can help you to feel more in control of yourself and communicate with your family in a healthy manner. 

As parent setting boundaries can also be hard. Imagine this... what do you do?

Your daughter trusts you and begins to open up to you. She tells you about her friends, how school/college life is going. As the conversation progresses, she mentions having a beer at her friend’s birthday party. 

Do you explode your rage on her for drinking alcohol or not telling you that she had alcohol or do you listen and acknowledge her for being truthful? 

When your family crosses your boundaries EFT Tapping can help to:

  • Let go of the emotional stress from having had a boundary being crossed.
  • Communicate your feelings in your imagination.
  • Get the perspective of your family members and the reason they are breaking your boundaries.
  • Clear the root cause associated with not being able to set healthy boundaries.
  • Develop your inner confidence to communicate with your family in a manner that you can be heard.

What Are Professional Boundaries AS AN EFT TAPPING PRACTITIONER?

These are boundaries you set for yourself and with your client in a professional capacity as an EFT Practitioner.

Professional boundaries are a set of legal, ethical, and organisational rules and frameworks in place for the safety of both a professional and their clients. In many cases the rules and frameworks of ethical practical are laid out in a code of conduct.

Professional boundary setting:

  1. Begins with the first communication with a potential client where if the client wants to proceed with exploring professional sessions you share the Transformation Program Intake form for them to fill it with the relevant information on guidelines, informed consent and terms for the sessions
  2. The next opportunity to set boundaries is during the Consultation call where you manage the clients expectations and pre-frame your expectations and the terms of service. For example, let the client know up front that they might need some time for self-care after the sessions. With a good pre-frame, you will be able to: coordinate expectations, communicate boundaries and clear any doubts and concerns. 

Points to address during the pre-framing: 

  • Make sure the client is aware of the payment structure, when the payment is due and how to make the payment.
  • Be clear when the client can and can't call you or message you. 
  • Explain your availability after the EFT professionals session and in case they message that you might not see it till you meet them for their next session.  
  • What can your client do in case of an emergency?
  • The length and location of the EFT Tapping sessions. 
  • What does your client need to do to prepare for the sessions and what can the client do after the session?
  • What to expect with sessions, and do not promise a cure. 

3. After the Consultation call the next way to set boundaries is in the appointment letter where you lay out expectations on the appointment time, payment terms, and the conditions for not showing up or showing up late. 

4. Involves keeping brief notes about the session and getting regular supervision and mentoring to get support for any ethical dilemas and boundaries challenges.  

Setting Boundaries with EFT Tapping

Professional boundaries should include:

  • Providing consistency, predictability and security of therapy sessions, for example offering you the same time and place on a regular basis, unless otherwise agreed.
  • Ensuring sessions take place in a calm environment with no distractions and where confidentiality can be ensured.
  • Limiting contact between you to pre-arranged appointments and any check in agreements.
  • Avoiding multiple relationships, for example you should not be student and teacher or supervisee and supervisor at the same time as client and therapist
  • Appropriately and ethically managing any physical attraction between you
  • Remaining impartial rather than judging you or imposing their values
  • Not giving, receiving or exchanging any gifts during the therapeutic relationship
  • Managing the end of therapy in an appropriate way and ensuring formal boundaries are maintained during any breaks. 

Professional boundaries should not include:

  1.  Seeking praise, reassurance or wanting your clients to show gratitude for your work.
  2. Drifting away from the contract originally agreed with the client.
  3. Focusing on their own needs rather than the clients needs.
  4. Sharing your problems and expecting the client to ‘care’ for you.
  5. Suggest that you are the only practitioner or person who can meet the clients needs. 
  6. Offers additional sessions, not agreed at the outset, without there being a clinical justification.
  7. Acts insincere or flatters the client. 
  8. Judges or blames the client. 
  9. Flirting with your client or any sexual advances in any way. 
  10. Borrows money from your client. 
  11. Continues to work beyond your competence or experience.
  12. Make your client feel uneasy, tense or unsafe.
  13. Allows sessions to overrun the agreed time.
  14. Taking phone calls in-between sessions.
Setting Boundaries

boundary violations AND HOW CAN EFT TAPPING HELP

A boundary violation happens when a therapist does not follow the code of conduct and crosses an ethical line. Boundaries to be mindful of that can be classed as violations are as follows:

  • Competence: Conducting client session only within your area of competence and experience based on the training you have received. 
  • Multiple relationships: These include any additional relationship with your client, for example your client being you best friend, spouse, and / or business associate. Multiple relationships can impair the EFT Practitioners objectivity, competence, or effectiveness in performing their functions and might risk exploitation or harm to a client. It is generally advised that the EFT Practitioner should avoid situations involving multiple relationships. However, when such a situation cannot be avoided, they should contemplate their actions in consultation with colleagues and the relevant code of ethics.

Caveats to Multiple Relationships:

Best practice guidelines for therapists and coaches do not explicitly rule out all multiple relationships. For example, multiple relationships are unavoidable in many small and interdependent communities, such as in the military, marginalised communities (e.g., LGBTQ+ and deaf communities), church groups, rural communities, and university campuses. For example, in an isolated rural community, an EFT Practitioner may provide services to the family doctor and also seek medical services from that doctor if there is no reasonable alternative. 

  • Self-disclosure: The appropriateness of a personal disclosure in the therapeutic relationship, it is important to think about therapeutic purpose. Used effectively, self-disclosure can promote relational depth in the therapeutic encounter, however, used thoughtlessly, it can miss the client’s frame of reference and appear confusing or hurtful. Clients sometimes ask personal questions to their therapist. Do not overshare. Stick to what is relevant. Do not take up their therapy time with your personal stories not relevant to the well-being of your client. 
  • Touch: In some cases, you might have to physically touch your client. Always ask permission first. Always. Your client is entitled to accept or refuse.
  • Gifts: Sometimes clients may wish to offer you a gift at the end of therapy or on a special occasion. Some therapists may choose to accept the gifts to avoid upsetting the client or to be culturally sensitive. Strictly speaking it is better not to accept gifts. 
  • Out of session contact: Pre-frame what is possible and not possible at the start of your sessions.
  • Social media: Be mindful of what you post of your clients have access to your personal Social media account. 
  • Confidentiality: You cannot discuss the contents of your sessions with anyone else, other than during Supervision, not even your spouse. Exceptions include where you have prior permission from the client to share something with someone for a therapeutic purpose without compromising the safety of the client, for example the parent of your teen client. The only instance in which confidentiality might be breached if there are legal considerations and your client is vulnerable and at risk of harming others or being harmed. 

The main purpose behind not violating boundaries is to keep you and your client safe and not to put your client in any harm. 

What is the difference between crossing boundaries vs violating them in a professional capacity?

As times boundaries may be crossed. There are many factors to weigh up before crossing them and if unsure it is better to seek support from your Supervisor who has the experience to answer them. Here are some scenarios of crossing boundaries:

Scenario 1: You have a client who wants you to come to a relative’s funeral with them. If the client’s best interest is at heart, and as a professional, your judgement says it is for their own good, you can go to the funeral. You have crossed a boundary. If the client is not at harm, it is okay. When you go uninvited or if the client’s well-being is affected in any aspect, then you have violated a boundary. And violation is not okay.

Scenario 2: Your client has asked you not to ask questions about her married life. She is not okay discussing it. She has placed a boundary on it. As her therapist, you must accept and respect her boundaries. However, if you do ask her - even though she expressly forbade it - you have violated that boundary. Your client might get angry with you because certain emotions associated with her married life welled up inside of her. Now if your client brings up her married life, then you can listen and ask your client, "I noticed you brought up your married life and it is also an area you have asked me not to ask questions about. What do you want me to do now?"

Scenario 3: Your best friend asks you to engage in one to one professional sessions. Based on the Multiple relationships engaging in sessions would be considered a Boundary Violation. However, if as a Practitioner you were able to create a fixed boundary between you and your client, and you did not let the therapy spill over into your personal interactions, and were able to stay away from providing any advice and be judgemental then you could proceed with sessions. You would have to pre-frame the conditions of the engagement. If unsure it is better not to proceed or contact your Supervisor for support. 

What is a humanistic approach versus analytical approach to boundary setting?

A humanistic approach is where you might be more personable and client centric versus with an analytical approach you might be more clinical and data centric. For example:

  • With a humanistic approach after taking permission you might hug the client, whereas in an analytical approach this would not be allowed. 
  • In a humanistic approach you might disclose personal stories in the context for a metaphor to support the client to heal and transform versus in an analytical approach you may not disclose any information about your personal life. 

How do you address boundaries in different cultures?

Become familiar with the norms in the different cultures and ask your clients for their preferences. 

The Role Of EFT Tapping In Setting Boundaries

EFT Tapping Therapy can be used to:

  • Explore patterns that prevent boundaries being set.
  • Overcome inappropriate boundary violations in a personal and professional context.
  • Gain the ability to communicate your boundaries with confidence.


Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): EFT Tapping for Boundaries is an alternative therapeutic method which has proven to be long lasting and effective.

The sample procedure of EFT Tapping for Boundaries is as follows:

Step 1:

First Use EFT Tapping On Feelings Associated With Setting Boundaries

Explore the physical sensations in the body associated with setting boundaries and use the physical tension tapping process to reduce the sensations.

Then use the EFT Tapping Points Process taught in detail during EFT Practitioner Training Online.  


To get started, begin by investigating the physical nature of unhappiness. 

Connect with your emotions and notice where do you feel them in the body.  Then use the Physical Tension taught in detail during EFT Practitioner Training to clear the surface feelings and feel calmer. 

Briefly, you can begin by asking yourself the following questions to explore further:

  • Where in the body do you experience these sensations?
  • What is the colour, texture, size, shape of the emotions in the body?
  • What are the sensations like? For example, rough or smooth


Then measure the level of pain by asking: 

"What number is the feeling, where 10 is really high and 1 is not high at all." Just go with whatever comes up spontaneously, without thinking too much about it.


Begin by Tapping on the Karate Chop or Side of the Hand EFT Tapping Points: 

"Even though I feel afraid of setting boundaries and I feel it in my chest and its at a number 6 and it's red in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." (Repeat 3 times).


Then Tap on the facial and upper body EFT Tapping Points using these phrases:

  • Eyebrow: This feeling...
  • side Of the Eye: So afraid...
  • Under the eye: Fear in my chest...
  • Under the nose: It's a red colour...
  • Chin: At a number 6...
  • Collarbone: So rough...
  • Under the arm: This feeling...
  • Thumb: I feel it in my chest...
  • Index Finger: So afraid...
  • Middle Finger: Really...
  • Little Finger: The colour red...


Close the sequence by coming back to the EFT Karate Chop Tapping Points and repeat once: 

"Even though I afraid about setting boundaries and I feel it in my chest and it's at a number 6 and it's red in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."



Take a gentle breath in and out and take a sip of water.



At the end of the EFT Tapping, you can ask yourself the following questions:

  • What number is the feeling at now?
  • What happened?
  • How does it make you feel?

You can repeat this process by going back to Step 1 if you feel like the number could come down a little more.

Step 2:

Then Discover Past Experiences Of Feeling Similarly And Clear Them Using The Tell The Story Or The Movie Technique.

Step 3:

Explore If There Are Any Limiting Beliefs That Prevented You From Setting Boundaries

Limiting beliefs are thoughts that can be conscious or unconscious and can end up becoming responsible for self-sabotage, procrastination and low self-esteem, in an individual.

With setting boundaries, first, uncover the limiting beliefs which can either be at the surface level or associated with the deeper root memories; then shift them from stressful to empowering. For example, 

  •  “Something bad is going to happen” to “Everything is going to be OK"
  • "It is not safe" to "I am safe now"

Step 4:

Close With Positive EFT Tapping For boundaries:

Examples of a positive tapping sequence might be:

  • “Even though I felt afraid, now, then, now I am ready to set my boundaries.”
  • “Even though I simply existed and did not realise I decide my own likes and needs, now, I open myself to the possibility of being happy."

Boundaries are important for our well-being. They are invisible fences that:

  • Give you permission to say no to what you do not want and yes to what you do what.
  • Let people know how you want to be treated.
  • Help you to feel more empowered and in control.
  • Manage expectations of your family members and professional associations.
  • Make you feel calm and happy versus frazzled and annoyed.

So if you have not already started your journey in setting healthy boundaries then you can begin now. 


Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)

P.S. Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call. 

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

In summary, boundaries are the invisible lines that determine your personal and professional code of conduct. On a personal level they determine how you want to be treated and on a professional level as an EFT practitioner boundaries are the foundations of healthy working relationships. With EFT Tapping you can set healthier boundaries for yourself, with your family and professionally. 

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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