What Are Boundaries And How Does EFT Tapping Set Them?

EFT Tapping to Set Boundaries

  How To Identify And Set boundaries With EFT Tapping

  In life, it's essential to consider and respect one's personal and professional boundaries. We are prone to act with unhealthy boundaries for a variety of reasons. The function of EFT Tapping in creating boundaries in emotional, physical, sexual, workplace, and material aspects is discussed in this blog.

Do you find saying NO difficult? Or you can’t help but help others even if it costs you peace or even health?

One of the reasons anyone exhibits such a pattern is because they are not familiar with the concept of boundaries or they are unable to set any.

What we mean by boundaries here has nothing to do with the physical limits or distancing. The word ‘boundaries’ implies setting limits or managing one’s responses in a way that does not take a toll on one’s emotional, mental or physical health.

The very concept is still alien to many people. This keeps people from understanding, setting and respecting boundaries for themselves and others.

Setting and respecting boundaries is still secondary. What is primal is to understand what boundaries are and how they can help you save your sanity. So, we might as well begin by exploring a little more about its concept first.

Setting Boundaries

What Are Boundaries?

We all know what a boundary is, a sort of a separator; between what is and is not, tolerable and intolerable, negotiable and non-negotiable. 

An imaginary line you set on what is acceptable and not acceptable to you. It is a form of a estandard you set that tells other people how they can treat you.

By setting a boundary, you are respecting yourself by not overextending yourself for somebody else. You create a space for yourself that allows you to explore your wants, needs, and desires without wanting to please others.

You gradually learn about boundaries as you grow up. Nobody learns them from the get-go. 

“It is necessary, even vital to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it”

- mandy hale

For example, Mindy fell in love with Greg. She loved everything about him - until they started living together.

He used to put the toilet seat up after using it, and leave his wet towel on the sofa instead of drying it outside. And expect Mindy to pick up after him. This aggravated her. 

She decided to talk to him and communicate that the way he treats her was not okay. 

She set up some boundaries that would be beneficial for both of them without either one of them feeling unhappy or disrespected. 

When we are in a relationship, sometimes we do not discuss things like these. We put up with being feeling how Mindy did for a number of reasons which we will discuss shortly hereafter.

One day my mother-in-law was visiting us. Without my permission, she started rearranging my kitchen. I was not at all okay with it. In my mind, she was crossing a boundary. 

Instead of talking to her about how I felt and enforcing a boundary of not touching things in my house without my permission, I let it fester. 

My mother-in-law obviously thought it was okay to continue what she was doing. 

Wiser heads prevailed when my husband sat all three of us down and we had a mature conversation. 

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

Many marriages around the world start with prenups. A prenup is a contract which lists what is tolerable and not tolerable in a marriage.

For example, If a spouse is guilty of infidelity, they will not be entitled to a certain sum of money, property, or anything deemed valuable to either party.

A prenup acts as a boundary which clearly states this is allowed, and this is not. It might be challenging, but it is clear communication. And communication is key. 

Any contract is as good as the words you put in it.  Sure, there will be grey areas in it, no denying that, it happens. But you cannot hold the other person responsible for it if they did not see it.

It takes two to tango. 

Why Is It So Important To Have Boundaries?

Simply put, if you don't set boundaries, others will be able to walk all over you. They will take advantage of the fact that you do not decide how others must treat you.

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”

- doreen virtue

What Are The Benefits Of Having Boundaries?


be yourself

It creates a separateness that allows you to be.. you. It allows you to have your own rules and norms about your life, your own feelings, and personal space. 



You take care of yourself. It allows you to be free of someone else’s worries and what they might think or do, and keeps accountability with the other person, and not on your shoulders. Boundaries help prioritise your well-being over anybody else's. 


realistic expectations

It is very easy to lose yourself in daydreams and not come to terms with the realities of life. Having boundaries in your life, whether with your co-workers, friends, family, partner, or spouse, opens up the path of communication to what is to be expected in that particular relationship. 


safe space

By placing boundaries, you create a safe space for yourself emotionally and physically. 

  • I am not comfortable with hugging
  • Please do not shout at me. It upsets me
  • Please do not invade my personal space. I feel uncomfortable

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

How To Identify You Need To Set Boundaries?

Many of us do not realise that we even need boundaries in our life! 

During my childhood, whenever any mail used to come, no matter who it was addressed to, my sister and I used to open them faster than you could say ‘monkey’. 

I did not realise that I was crossing a boundary. I learned that later in life.

So, how do you know you need to set boundaries? The following are some scenarios that will help you identify:


you often worry about other people might think

For example, "I like mango ice cream but my mother likes it when we have vanilla ice cream." 

"I do not like to watch horror movies but all my friends do, so I have to watch them."


Feeling guilty for doing things independently

For example, "I like to go for short treks but I feel guilty for going alone without my friends."


Not able to say ‘no’ or finding it hard to. 

Example: I cannot say no to whatever my child asks of me.

I do not want to go to my in-law’s house for Christmas but I am scared to say no.


Doing things you secretly did not want to

Example: I told my boss I will attend the office party even though I did not want to.


Sacrificing your well-being

Example: I have to make dinner even though I am un-well otherwise my family will not get a home-cooked meal. 


You feel you have to earn respect by being nice

Example: My colleagues will look up to me if I am kind towards them no matter what they say.

Saying no

What Are Unhealthy Boundaries?

In any relationship, when there is a lack of boundaries, where you do not feel valued, respected, you feel your best interests are not protected, and your mental, physical, and emotional needs are not met, these are called unhealthy boundaries.

What Are The Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries?

The following are some signs of unhealthy boundaries:

  1. Your relationships tend to be difficult or dramatic
  2. You have a hard time making decisions
  3. You are not able to let anybody down
  4. Anxiety and guilt become a part of your daily life
  5. You are often tired with no apparent reason
  6. You are either over-sharing or undersharing both of which are unhealthy
  7. Constantly a victim of situations
  8. Feeling annoyed and irritated
  9. You secretly feel as if you do not get the respect you deserve
  10.  You are passive-aggressive
  11. You do know who you are
  12. Fear of rejection or abandonment

“We cannot set simultaneously a boundary and take care of another person’s feelings.”

- melodie beattie

What Are The Different Types Of Boundaries?

Say you have a certain way you expect your parents to behave when they are with you, or the way your boss treats you, or the way you like your sexual needs to be met. 

There are different types of boundaries in different aspects of your life. 

Personal Boundaries can be defined as the guidelines we make for ourselves in regards to our levels of comfort around other people. 

They can be related to physical contact, how others speak with us and/or our personal space. 

Emotional Boundaries

These are boundaries which protect our own emotional well-being. 

They have to do with how other people talk to us and treat us. 

As is the case with categories of boundaries, it is not always clear to us that some things require boundaries until they are crossed or violated.  And that is okay. 

Example:  You had a fight with your friend who called you an insulting name. You felt disrespected and hurt.

Physical Boundaries

You may not like to be physically touched by others. It makes you uncomfortable. 

Example: As a child, I never liked anybody hugging me, whether it be a friend or a family member. But I did not say anything because my mother told me,

“It is rude not to hug your grandfather, so just do it.”

Sexual Boundaries

We all have our own preferences for what we like, what we want to explore in our sexual life. Sexual boundaries decide how far we are willing to do sexually.

It is okay to explore your limits and that of your partners’ as well. So long as you both are comfortable in the limits that you have set. 

Workplace Boundaries

These are boundaries which you place at your office. These reflect how you carry yourself in the workplace setting and how you let your employers and colleagues treat  you. 

Example: Your boss asks you to stay back with him after office hours and you are not okay with that.

A colleague taking credit for a particularly arduous project when you were the one who did all the work.

During a meeting, your colleague speaks over you which you do not appreciate.

Material Boundaries

Once in college, I had left my bag on the desk, and the next thing I know? The cleaning lady is probing into my bag. I was very indignant at first, how could she just check into anybody’s bag?

That is why a boundary needs to be in place for how people treat your property and how you allow people to treat it. 

Time Boundaries

“Please do not call me after my work hours. I will be unavailable.”

“I will only be able to meet you during the weekend. I am busy.”

“No, it is not possible for me to help you at that time.”

Keeping time boundaries is essential because time is valuable. Especially yours. You need to make it clear how long you are going to wait, what are the permissible contact hours that work for you.

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

Why Am I Not Able To Set Boundaries?

It is not easy to set - let alone realise - where you need boundaries. In time, you learn. And as long as you learn - and I promise you will - you will be so much better off in life.

So, why do people not set boundaries? There could be a few reasons for it. Let us go through them: 



Explore your thoughts about why you are not able to set clear cut boundaries in your life. It is okay to be scared when you are doing something new, and that too for the first time. 



It is mostly similar to fear. You do not know what will happen, and sometimes a little bit of uncertainty is okay. but not too much, you do not to be absolutely sure before you act.


Not Knowing How

It sounds exactly as you read it. If you have grown up in a family where there was no concept of boundaries, chances are you simply do not know. Setting boundaries is a skill that can be learned.


Low Self Worth

You do not feel that you deserved to be loved or respected. Therefore, you put other people’s interests above your own, to prove that your worth is valued by tending to their needs. If you do not know what it is like to be respected, you wouldn’t know how to set boundaries in the first place!


People Pleasing

You do not want to upset anyone, or disappoint anyone. You want people to like you. Their perception of them matters more to you over anything else. 

Sometimes when you set a boundary,  other people may feel angry, or just confused. They are used to seeing you act and behave a certain way, and now suddenly, you are putting these limits on how they must behave around you, and treat you in a manner you expect them to. 

It happens, but you also need to understand the time, place, and your own judgement when you are enforcing boundaries. Why? People’s reactions can be unpredictable, volatile even. 

You need to be in a safe place in case the other person would want to harm you. 

Setting Boundaries with EFT Tapping

What Is The Root Cause?

Have you ever had black coffee and wondered why it was so bitter? Have you ever treated a fever without knowing the cause? 

Similarly, have you wondered why it is so difficult for you to set boundaries when there might be a deeper, hidden cause behind it? 

Has something probably happened in your life that made you not set boundaries? 

childhood trauma

A reason could be that you were emotionally and or physically abused as a child. You could have just said yes to your caregiver in order to feel safe. To have your basic needs met. 

Growing up, such trauma could make you feel like your wants, needs, and likes do not matter. 

sexual abuse

Abuse can prevent you from setting boundaries.  Your offender did not choose to respect your boundaries of a safe and personal space, why should you? Sexual boundaries were being crossed or violated. 

Having a sense that something was off, but not knowing that a boundary being violated is wrong, one does not know what is happening.

As a child, if you were used to being on the receiving end of being sexually abused, as an adult you wouldn’t know how to communicate your feelings.

family values

These could also be a root cause. As a child, your brain is like a sponge. Soaking up everything by seeing, believing, and observing. Your childhood development is influenced by what goes on around you, what your parents have been teaching you. 

My mother had a problem with me even having a crush on a boy in school. She enforced it so strongly on me that it is wrong, that for a long time I thought having any friendly feelings towards men was wrong. 

Limited role models for healthy boundaries and self-care is something to be kept in mind. 

A mother keeps complaining that her son is constantly on his phone, when, in fact, the mother is doing the exact same thing.

Not placing a boundary on a growing child, such as, specific timings for watching tv, playing with friends etc. can impact the making for healthy boundaries as well.

When you have been taught to be a caretaker your entire life, your own needs and wants take a backseat to someone else's.

Some people may not even realise that they have the option of deciding what matters to them.

Not being allowed to have the need to be assertive in your life can hugely influence you to not set healthy boundaries. 

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

Beliefs and boundaries

There are certain beliefs that one has in life which they deem to the absolute truths. One of the main reasons behind these beliefs is the environment you grow up in, the people who influenced you, your own observations, and your experiences. 

It is important to believe in something, absolutely sure, but it is almost important to know that these beliefs that you have? They do not prevent you from living your life to the fullest. They should not keep you from achieving great opportunities. 

The ones that do are called limiting beliefs. 

Limiting beliefs also give their contribution when we talk about placing boundaries. 

A child whose parents showed him no love will grow up to believe that he is unworthy of receiving love and affection. 

This sort of mindset prevents him from placing a boundary that tells people they are allowed to disrespect him. 

As an adult when you think of voicing your boundaries, you might paralysed with fear. Your subconscious is linking your limiting beliefs with an event that might have happened during your childhood.

How To Go About Setting Boundaries In My Life?

Boundaries are important for sure, but not easy to set. Mostly because people are not able to identify where they begin, or how to communicate with people. 

In order to start, you have to identify which type of boundary you want to set.


setting emotional boundaries

  • Approach the person you want to talk to
  • Calmly ask them to join you in a discussion on your topic.
  • Take responsibility if there was any cause for the argument/issue to go awry on your part
  • Tell them what you are okay with and what you are not in their treatment/behaviour towards you and you need them to accept these changes in the future.


Setting physical Boundaries

The best way to set these boundaries is before they become a problem. Communicate from the very start. 

  • If you see someone coming your way, wave at them before they engage in a hug or a handshake or a lean-in kiss if that is a physical contact you want to have a boundary placed on.
  • Another thing you can do is, smile and say “I do not shake hands/hug but I am so pleased to meet you!”
  • Do not apologise for the way you feel. You do not owe them any long explanations. 
  • If someone has invaded your personal space, you can say “Please can you step back. I am not comfortable when anyone is standing so close to me.”


Setting sexual Boundaries

  • Before initiating this chapter of your life in your relationship, sit down with your partner and engage in an open, honest, and healthy conversation about what you like, what you do not like, what and how far you are willing to explore, and other expectations you might have. 
  • If you change your mind in between an event, you are always allowed to say “I’m sorry but I do not want to do this anymore.”
  • Know that you do not have to go with whatever your partner asks of you if you are not comfortable with it.


Setting time Boundaries

  • Make the person understand that both of your times are valuable and punctuality ought to be maintained.
  • If they are late for an appointment or meeting with you, decide how long you are willing to wait for them
  • Give yourself permission to leave the event if they are too late or even cancel it altogether if they do not adhere to the set time. 


Setting workplace Boundaries

  • Setting your tone from the get-go is the best way to establish boundaries. 
  • Communicate with your boss or colleagues when they have breached a boundary. 
  • If your colleague/boss disrespects you, tell them that it is not okay and they cannot treat you as such. 
  • If boundaries are constantly breached, feel free to contact the human resources department of your office. 


Setting material Boundaries

  • If a friend wants to borrow some clothes from you and you are not okay with it, tell them so.
  • If you decide to lend your sister your camping backpack, make sure to tell her to take care of your belongings. 
  • My mother has a habit of “cleaning” my wardrobe which I absolutely do not like. It is a violation of my personal space and property. I told her so. Communicate with people how they should treat and respect your material possessions.

How Do I Go About Setting Boundaries With Family?

My parents will try to parent me. Even though I am a fully grown adult. *SighFor them, you will always be their baby. That will not ever change. 

There are so many ways in which they cross boundaries where they should not. 

  • They try to give you advice when you did not ask for any
  • Comment on your way of living, your food habits, your house, your habits
  • Violate your home space and privacy in your absence by cleaning up your “clutter”.

Parents always want the best of you. Even if they mean to help in ways they think are right, they end up crossing boundaries.

Sometimes, they are trying to be a part of your life, when you are busy with college, friends, romantic relationships, or work.

Other times, parents have a tough time giving up control. Having a firm belief that they know what is best for their adult children, they continue to interfere and violate boundaries left and right. 

To all those of you, has a parent ever read your diary? Checked your phone messages? Trying to read your emails?

Tension grows when your frustrations are not communicated. It grows even more when parents continue to cross boundaries no matter how much you tell them it is not okay to read your diary!

Here are some ways where you can reinforce boundaries with your parents:

  1. Find out what is going on in their mind: Talk to them about what is going on with them. If there are any issues they are being challenged with. Assure them that they are loved and would always be welcome to your life. But not by violating boundaries. 
  2. Frame your boundaries with gratitude and appreciation: Try not to start your conversation with a shouting match. Talk to them calmly about what exactly is bothering you. You might want to sort out your own feelings. This will help you come up with manageable solutions for your parents. Tell your parents that having boundaries is not disrespectful but in fact is healthy. Carefully choose your words so as to not hurt them. 
  3. Confront them directly: Do not let things fester until you reach your boiling point. 
  4. Be clear and specific: “No, I do not want to eat junk food.” “Please do not feed the dog from your plate.”
  5. Work with a professional: Sometimes, a professional can help address your issues in a manner which you might not have thought of or, or were unable to express to your parents.

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

What Are Professional Boundaries?

These are boundaries you set for yourself and your client in a professional capacity. 

What things are permissible and not permissible for both of you. They are a set of legal, ethical, and organisational rules and frameworks in place for the safety of both a professional and their clients. 

These boundaries are established for an individual's behaviour that is safe, acceptable, and effective.

In a helping professional, there are many things that come into consideration when setting a boundary. 

One approach is pre-framing. Now, what is pre-framing?

Before you initiate the formal part of your agreement, you set out expectations. 

For example, before you begin your first therapeutic session for which payment is due, you set the expectation of your ability during the consultation call. 

With a good pre-frame, you will be able to:

  • Coordinate expectations
  • Communicate boundaries
  • Clear any doubts and concerns
Setting Boundaries

challenges faced while establishing professional boundaries

How Do I Manage Multiple Relationships?

I have a friend who is also a therapist. I asked her to take a session with me. She refused on the grounds that she will not be able to maintain her role as my friend and therapist both. 

So she chose to be just my friend. Fair enough, correct?

Have you ever been in a scenario where you had to play both roles, say a parent being her daughter’s therapist? Or being a therapist to your spouse?

How do you pull that off?

You have to be very, very careful in how you maintain these relationships. 

Let us assume you are a parent, who is also being a therapist to your daughter. 

Your daughter trusts you and begins to open up to you. She tells you about her friends, how school/college life is going...and then she mentions having a beer at her friend’s birthday party.

Do you explode your rage on her for drinking alcohol or not telling you that she had alcohol? Motherly thoughts go through your mind - What if she had been driving, what if something unsavoury had happened to her? 

The point of this case is - you cannot be a parent and her therapist at the same point. Choose your role. 

If you show your personal emotions to your child in what is supposed to be a therapy session, you not only push your child away, your child starts to question your approachability and trust in you. 

Such role reversals will land you in trouble in your relationships. 

If you become a therapist to your friend, inform them that while the session starts, you are their therapist only. Strictly professional. 

One main thing you have to think over before you even begin managing multiple relationships like this: Has your own emotional shelving cleared off so you do not get triggered when they are in your counsel?

What is the difference between crossing boundaries vs violating them in a professional capacity?

You have a client who wants you to come to a relative’s funeral with them. They are asking you. If the client’s best interest is at heart, and as a professional, your judgement says it is for their own good, you can go to the funeral. You have crossed a boundary. 

If the client is not at harm, it is okay.

When you go uninvited or if the client’s well-being is affected in any aspect, then you have violated a boundary. And violation is not okay. 

There are certain situations when you are in a dilemma about what to do. You are in two minds. In such cases, use your judgement. Approach your supervisor. 

It is better for your supervisor to listen to yours as well as the client’s perspective to get the lay of the situation. 

Let us go through one more example.

Your client has asked you not to ask questions about her married life. She is not okay discussing it. She has placed a boundary on it.

As her therapist, you must accept and respect her boundaries. 

However, if you do ask her - even though she expressly forbade it - you have violated that boundary. 

Your client might get angry with you because certain emotions associated with her married life welled up inside of her. 

In some cases, you might have to physically touch your client. Always ask permission first. Always. Your client is entitled to accept or refuse.

You also have to set boundaries for your client. 

Session timings have to be adhered to. If your client is late to the set time, or fails to show up, it is up to you how you want to handle it. 

Clients sometimes ask personal questions to their therapist. Do not overshare. Stick to what is relevant. Be clipped and concise in your responses.

And do not take up their therapy time with your personal stories not relevant to the well-being of your client. 

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

Is it inappropriate for the client and practitioner to meet in person?

It is fine as long as it is in the best interests of the client. But only insofar as they respect each other’s boundaries. 

Is it okay to exchange gifts between a client and their practitioner? This is a grey area. It depends on the context.

In some cultures, a gift is a demonstration of values, thankfulness, and is meaningful. 

It is your decision what to do when a client presents you with a gift. But a favour in return for a favour? Gift for a gift? That is not okay. 

As A Practitioner What Can I do?

Before the start of your sessions, make sure the client is well aware of the payment structure. You do not want to have payment-related issues after your session is over. 

This is where pre-framing becomes important. Any communication concerns should also be addressed.

When a client can call you - what are the timings that are suitable for you. What mode of communication is to be used between the two of you - phone calls, emails, etc. 

In the case of emergencies, can the client call you after the allotted hours?

The length and location of the sessions must also be kept in mind. If you have to have a session in a hotel bedroom, make sure your client is okay with it. 

Never take a session in a small hotel room. 

Your reputation as a practitioner depends on all these factors as well as how effectively you can engage with your client by not violating any boundaries. 

Communicate effectively with your client if any boundaries are crossed:

  • Explain to them where they crossed it
  • What would happen should they cross it again
  • When it is crossed, it  must be enforced again

Always maintain documentation. Should a compromisable situation arise, it is your word against your clients’. 

You can also refer your client to another therapist if you are not feeling competent managing a particular client’s difficulty in respecting boundaries. 

Setting Boundaries with EFT Tapping

boundary violations

The following are a few examples of professional boundary violations that may happen:

  • Other than it being a personal matter, if an employee messages you privately instead of the office group 
  • Soliciting members from the group
  • Asking private questions
  • Conducting group work without being trained
  • Having the video not on for supervision 

What Is A Humanistic Approach?

It is a therapy approach which emphasises the personal worth of the individual. This approach is optimistic and those who follow this approach believe that a client’s capacity can overcome any despair, pain and hardship. 

They will hug you - with permission. 

Analytical approach in simple terms is - the who, the what, the why, how can we solve this, the solution. They will not even ask about the hugging factor - because they hug you if that is a physical boundary for you.

Boundaries And Different Cultures

In different cultures, communication forms are different. It is safe to assume that they too will have certain boundaries that must be respected.

For example, in the month of Shravan in India, some parts of the community do not eat non-vegetarian food. As a daughter of such a community, if I do consume chicken, I would be disrespectful to the culture. 

In certain parts of the world, what you say also matters. Certain topics are sensitive, certain words cannot be used in the public domain. 

In Japan, you are expected to remove your outdoor doors before coming inside the house. 

In other parts of the world, as their token of hospitality, some tourists are offered free food and they consider it a sin if the tourist has to pay.

The clothes we wear, the way we style our hair, our mannerisms on the dinner table - all of these play a role in how to maintain boundaries wherever we go in the world. 

The Role Of EFT Tapping In Setting Boundaries

You might be wondering how EFT Tapping comes into play?

EFT Tapping Therapy is a widely used alternative therapeutic technique which allows us to unload all our pain, despair, anguish, frustrations, fears and phobias, anxiety, stress and all that is associated with it. 

It has been clinically proven to be effective in stress management and helps the body heal by unlocking all the built-up negative emotions in our body. 

When we were discussing the root causes of not being able to set boundaries, it had to do with feelings of abuse, trauma, limiting beliefs, low self-worth, and fears etc.

Using EFT Tapping, we can overcome all that stresses us out. With the Tapping therapy, we can explore our emotions and identify the root cause of our suffering.

Not only that, but it can also help heal any physical pain the body has. 

How we feel internally is reflected in our bodies. Negative emotions manifest themselves adversely physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

And the best part of using EFT Tapping? The control is ours. It enhances our confidence, self-esteem, and our belief by saying out positive affirmations for boosting our body’s energy flow. 

When helping someone who has difficulty setting boundaries, first they physical discomfort must be addressed before proceeding to the root cause.

If the practitioner straightaway goes for the root cause, the client must be overwhelmed. 

Tapping hands


Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): EFT Tapping for Boundaries is an alternative therapeutic method which has proven to be long lasting and effective.

The sample procedure of EFT Tapping for Boundaries is as follows:

Step 1:

First Use EFT Tapping On Feelings Associated With Setting Boundaries

Explore the physical sensations in the body associated with setting boundaries and use the physical tension tapping process to reduce the sensations.

Then use the EFT Tapping Points Process taught in detail during EFT Practitioner Training Online.  


To get started, begin by investigating the physical nature of unhappiness. 

Connect with your emotions and notice where do you feel them in the body.  Then use the Physical Tension taught in detail during EFT Practitioner Training to clear the surface feelings and feel calmer. 

Briefly, you can begin by asking yourself the following questions to explore further:

  • Where in the body do you experience these sensations?
  • What is the colour, texture, size, shape of the emotions in the body?
  • What are the sensations like? For example, rough or smooth


Then measure the level of pain by asking: 

"What number is the feeling, where 10 is really high and 1 is not high at all." Just go with whatever comes up spontaneously, without thinking too much about it.


Begin by Tapping on the Karate Chop or Side of the Hand EFT Tapping Points: 

"Even though I feel afraid of setting boundaries and I feel it in my chest and its at a number 6 and it's red in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." (Repeat 3 times).


Then Tap on the facial and upper body EFT Tapping Points using these phrases:

  • Eyebrow: This feeling...
  • side Of the Eye: So afraid...
  • Under the eye: Fear in my chest...
  • Under the nose: It's a red colour...
  • Chin: At a number 6...
  • Collarbone: So rough...
  • Under the arm: This feeling...
  • Thumb: I feel it in my chest...
  • Index Finger: So afraid...
  • Middle Finger: Really...
  • Little Finger: The colour red...


Close the sequence by coming back to the EFT Karate Chop Tapping Points and repeat once: 

"Even though I afraid about setting boundaries and I feel it in my chest and it's at a number 6 and it's red in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."



Take a gentle breath in and out and take a sip of water.



At the end of the EFT Tapping, you can ask yourself the following questions:

  • What number is the feeling at now?
  • What happened?
  • How does it make you feel?

You can repeat this process by going back to Step 1 if you feel like the number could come down a little more.

Step 2:

Then Discover Past Experiences Of Feeling Similarly And Clear Them Using The Tell The Story Or The Movie Technique, That Was Taught During EFT Tapping Practitioner Training.

Step 3:

Explore If There Are Any Limiting Beliefs That Prevented You From Setting Boundaries

Limiting beliefs are thoughts that can be conscious or unconscious and can end up becoming responsible for self-sabotage, procrastination and low self-esteem, in an individual.

With setting boundaries, first, uncover the limiting beliefs which can either be at the surface level or associated with the deeper root memories; then shift them from stressful to empowering. For example, 

  •  “Something bad is going to happen” to “Everything is going to be OK"
  • "It is not safe" to "I am safe now"

Step 4:

Close With Positive EFT Tapping For boundaries:

Examples of a positive tapping sequence might be:

  • “Even though I felt afraid, now, then, now I am ready to set my boundaries.”
  • “Even though I simply existed and did not realise I decide my own likes and needs, now, I open myself to the possibility of being happy."

Boundaries are important for our well-being. They give us permission to say no to things and situations we are not okay with.  

They play a huge role in our life, in our relationships, whether they are personal or professional. Everyone has their own comfort level and they vibrate in different frequencies which is perfectly normal.

But when their behaviour affects us in a way making us uncomfortable, they are crossing our boundary line. It is up to us to decide how far, low, thick, or thin we are willing to stretch ourselves.

Boundaries tell us that we do not need to bend over backwards for others, in fact, it gives the power to be our own person. It lets us explore our intimacy levels, how to have a healthy relationship and have high self-esteem and self-respect. 

With so much we know about boundaries, let us explore our own mindsets and become even more empowered. 


Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)

P.S. Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call. 

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

In summary, EFT is a very powerful tool to deal with scenarios that diminish your sense of peace and calmness. EFT Tapping helps in the management of boundaries for the benefit of both you and the other person.

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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