Can EFT Tapping Help To Gain Confidence?

EFT Tapping for Confidence

This article talks about what unshakeable confidence is, how it is different from self-esteem and the ways in which EFT Tapping can help one gain unshakeable confidence.

Imagine coming from a low-income family and still somehow managing to study in one of the high-end boarding schools with a lot of complexes rooting from your socio-economic background.

Yes, growing up, that kid was me. I was extremely affected by the differences I observed between my fellows and I.

Coming from a different socio-economic background meant not getting to join weekend school trips when everyone else would plan on getting new stationery and doing fun activities.

One can only imagine the blow it would’ve caused to a kid’s self-esteem.

Later on, my low self-esteem and confidence translated into the feeling of being a failure on various occasions.

One of the things that interestingly did work for me was opting for an alternative therapy such as EFT Tapping to work on my low self-confidence and the underlying emotions associated with it.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered– just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better”.

BARIE DAVENPORT

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE?

Confidence is a state of being clear-headed and certain that the choices and decisions you have made are the best and most effective (1).

To have unshakeable confidence in oneself is about having self-belief in your decisions and actions without having the fear of making mistakes or being judged.

Contrary to hubris or unhealthy pride, unshakeable confidence refers to standing in one’s power, ability and judgement, and believing that no matter what one can work through situations even if one stumbles a little.

Sometimes, people are caught between the tussle of being perceived as a confident person on the outside but not feeling the same inside.

They are at the constant war with themselves and oftentimes struggle with identity crises as they cannot figure out what their true nature is.

In order to attain self-belief, this misalignment between the inside and the outside has to be removed.

Building unshakeable confidence also involves doing what your intuition is guiding you for.

Thus, this total alignment between the inner and the outer selves becomes a big contributing factor in achieving the stage you're aiming for.

WHAT KEEPS ONE FROM BUILDING UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE?

Contrary to unshakeable confidence, questioning one’s abilities and proficiency broadly accounts for what we generally refer as low confidence.

For instance, once I was conducting a seminar and anticipated a certain number of people to show up for it. I had a venue booked and arrangements done.

Opposite to what I expected, only a limited proportion showed up and that shook my confidence like anything.

I felt like giving up when that sense of being a failure caught me. I was highly doubtful of my abilities and could not trust myself enough to do something like organizing an event ever again.

Similarly, the majority of people find it hard to present themselves confidently to an audience and that can cost them crucial opportunities and milestones.

There can be several possible reasons why one lacks confidence and is hesitant to harness their potential to the most.

Some of the possible root causes of low confidence may include:

Child abuse:

Childhood trauma and abuse play a major role in shaping one’s personality as an adult. Someone who went through traumatic or abusive experiences as a child may carry the wounds to adulthood that may also involve lacking self-confidence.

Bullying:

Being bullied is another traumatic experience that can cause one’s psyche to lurk into self-doubt and self-judgment. Both these factors contribute to low self-confidence and self-esteem.

Harsh Criticism:

Being harshly criticised as a kid with mistakes or being pointed out may lead to a person overanalysing their every move and drag them away from self-belief and self-trust.

Bad breakup:

Relationship failures can make a person question themselves on grounds of personality traits. They might feel that they are not good enough to be with someone and that can cause a big blow to one’s confidence which later affects almost all areas of their life.

Job Loss:

Ups and downs in professional life can render one with low confidence as losing a job might make one think that they are incompetent and inadequate to achieve anything.

Mistreatment:

Being mistreated can make one think that mistreatment is all they deserve and that they better adjust to it while constantly doubting if they even deserve any better. This may shake their confidence to the core and they might even fear trying something out.

Put down by in-laws:

Being put down or treated as an outsider by in-laws can be a major blow to someone’s confidence.

Abused as an adult:

Having been through abusive experiences is always traumatic and adversely impact one’s self-confidence.

WHAT ARE THE PATTERNS THAT HINDER THE BUILDING OF UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE?

In general, people with low confidence are hypersensitive (2) and they exhibit some patterns that may also be understood as problems as well as coping mechanisms.

People with low confidence may exhibit the following patterns:

Imposter Syndrome:

People who use accomplishments or fake confidence. Unveiling beliefs can make them uncomfortable. They have an underlying fear of failure too. There's always an inner conflict between confidence and fear. They hide behind perfectionism and procrastination.

Rebellion Syndrome:

The person pretends they don't care what others think of them. You can feel the misalignment in them. They hate authority. Soon, their feelings of inferiority may manifest into anger or blame.

Victimhood Syndrome:

The person believes that they are helpless in face of challenges. They rely on others to guide them. They may use self-pity to avoid changing their situation.

IS CONFIDENCE THE SAME AS SELF-ESTEEM?

The general assumption is that self-esteem and confidence are synonymous and interchangeable terms.

In reality, self-esteem is how you see yourself on the inside and confidence is just a projection of that. Self-esteem does not depend upon skills. It is just who we are whereas confidence comes from skills and abilities (3).

Self-esteem is a psychological term and is connected to the three syndromes discussed above, i.e., Imposter Syndrome, Victimhood Syndrome and Rebellion Syndrome whereas confidence is not a psychological term but can be understood as a part of concepts such as self-esteem, self-belief and self-trust.

WHAT ARE THE FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE ONE’S SELF-ESTEEM?

Self-esteem being the insight that one has about oneself, lays the foundation for the expression of confidence on the outside. That being said, there are a number of factors that influence one’s self-esteem.

These factors are:

Age:

Self-esteem tends to increase from adolescence to middle age, and peaks at around the age of 60 years. After 60 though, self-esteem tends to decline that can be credited to financial instability and health problems. As you age, you become less bothered with self-esteem.

Body type:

Kids who are overweight to obese are more likely to experience bullying and have low self-esteem both during childhood and later in life. Body type has connections with low self-esteem.

Gender:

Women have a much higher tendency to have low self-esteem than men across cultures.

Mental health status:

People who share their conditions like depression and anxiety are likely to have higher self-esteem. In addition to that, most cultures stereotype that socially involved and humorous as having great self-esteem as compared to people who keep their situations private.

Race & Ethnicity:

Oriental and Hispanic students tend to have lower self-esteem. Then comes white students. Black students tend to have higher self-esteem than anyone else.

Sexual or gender identity:

People from LGBTQ+ tend to have low self-esteem. Bullying is a large contributor to self-esteem in issues related to LGBTQ+ people.

Socio-economic status:

Students from low-income families face discrimination and systemic disadvantages over the course of middle school on grounds of their socio-economic status.

HOW DOES NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AFFECT ONE’S CONFIDENCE?

We are our own worst critics!

Our ability to criticize and judge ourselves surpasses our ability to believe and trust.

The inner voice that tells us that we aren’t good enough and pushes us to question our abilities is the source of the inner dialogue which, more often than not, results in a lot of negative self-talk.

Generally, negative self-talk may refer to inner dialogues that limit our thoughts, beliefs and perception regarding ourselves.

It may sound a lot more like a critical parent (10) or an over-analyzing friend constantly pushing criticism and judgement down your throat.

Some of the examples of negative self-talk can be:

There is nothing I truly like about myself
I will never do well enough at school or work to succeed
I am not worthy of seeking things that interest me
Other people are more deserving of happiness
No one wants to hear about my life or the issues I am facing
It’s all my fault I can’t seem to find people who are good to me
Good people wouldn’t want to be with me, anyway

Negative self-talk can make a person hyper-critical of themselves. Such excessive criticism shuns the voice of one’s intuition and the person is led far away from their true self.

One of the consequences is that their self-confidence is shaken to the core.

They cannot trust any decision or choice they make as their self-esteem and confidence keep lurking in the shadows of self-doubt and self-criticism.

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HOW CAN YOU CAN WORK ON BUILDING UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE?

Although it’s easier said than done, you can still resort to some ways that may help you gain the confidence that you aspire.

Here are some ways that may help you build confidence:

Stop comparing:

Learn not to compare yourself with anyone. Comparing yourself can spring self-doubt, envy and self-judgement.

Check your thoughts for any comparison as it can either directly or indirectly affect your self-esteem and eventually, your confidence.

Exercise:

Studies show that physical activity helps boost self-confidence, especially if you are someone who struggles with body-image.

Meditation:

Meditation helps the nervous system relax and connect with your inner self. Essentially, this connection lets you know and accept yourself, and stand in your power.

Once you get to know yourself, your inner being and its outer projection get aligned rendering you a self-confident person.

Positive self-talk:

Positive self-talk fosters self-compassion and free your subconscious from limiting beliefs that cause self-doubt.

It can certainly impact your perception of yourself (5).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT):

Another method that will help you to build confidence is EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

EFT Tapping is clinically proven to help you gain unshakeable confidence by tapping on acupuncture points and saying out loud your truth which is also known as "truth statements".

HOW CAN EFT TAPPING HELP GAIN UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE?

There are a number of therapies and techniques one can use to build confidence such as counselling, life coaching and various alternative therapies.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping) is an alternative therapy that is clinically proven to work on underlying emotions so as to clear the muck that keeps one from standing in their confidence.

Step 1:

Identify what you are feeling

You shall do this by asking yourself a number of questions.

Step 2:

Measure the intensity:

Measure the intensity of how you’re feeling. The scale goes from 1-10, in this case, 10 would be severely lacking in confidence, and 0 would be feeling very confident.

Step 3:

Make a note of any bodily sensation and ask yourself the following questions:

When have you felt these sensations before?
When did the sensations start? What happened?
Was there ever a time when you did not experience these symptoms?
What can trigger and bring on the symptoms?

Step 4:

Ask the following questions to explore the past experiences associated with confidences:

When did the sensations start? What happened?
What do these sensations remind you of?
When have you felt stressed before?
What happens to trigger the stress?

Step 5:

Use the EFT Tapping process to clear the emotions associated with that memory.

Step 6:

Begin by tapping on the Karate Chop or Side of the Hand EFT Tapping Points:

Even though I lack confidence in my business and it holds me back, I love and accept myself.

Eyebrow point: This lack of confidence
Side of eye: Holding me back
Under the eye: I don’t feel confident
Under the nose: This lack of confidence
Chin point: Makes me feel stupid
Collarbone point: Why can’t I just be confident
Underarm point: I used to be more confident (4)
Nine Gamut Hold.
Breathe in and out
Take a sip of water

Step 7:

Close the process with love and acceptance, better yourself here.

Identify positive tapping sequences to close the EFT Tapping Therapy for Unshakeable Confidence.
An example of positive tapping is "Even though I wasn’t feeling confident, that was then and this is now, I choose to be calm now."

Step 8:

Finger Holds.

Then hold the thumb to calm the body and mind and release any residual stress. You can also use the Jin Shin Jyutsu finger hold process to eliminate stress.

WORKING WITH CONFIDENCE AND LIMITING BELIEFS

Limiting beliefs are not necessarily a product of our experiences. Sometimes, they may just be someone else's viewpoint or even conditioning by our families and society, in general, that cause us to form these beliefs about ourselves.

We can have similar beliefs around confidence and self-esteem and so, clearing those beliefs becomes a necessity.

The way you can use EFT Tapping to work on limiting beliefs to gain unshakeable confidence is this:

I want to feel more confident… BUT…
Write down the limiting belief
Where in the body do you feel it?
What number is it at?
How does it make you feel?
Use the limiting beliefs process
Tap on the belief
Tap on the memories associated with the belief or emotion
Test the belief
End with positive tapping

What are the steps to follow when working on confidence with a client?

Intake Form: Get them to fill the intake form as it gives you an idea of what they want and what prevents them from getting that.
Personal Inventory: Get them to do a personal inventory wherein they will need to write down 100 of their qualities that are not qualifications.
Work in layers: Begin with surface symptoms, mind mapping/timeline and then, uncovering the root cause.
End sessions on a high note.
Get them to do real-life practices.

Working with Confidence and Limiting Beliefs

does eft tapping really work?

Imran Sherwa, an attendee of one of the EFT Tapping Seminars talks about his experience with EFT Tapping and how it helped him gain confidence, self-esteem and improve his business relationship skills.

He says- “I had a lot of areas to work on like self-confidence, self-esteem and business relationships and it has been a great going since I have done the EFT Tapping workshop. One area that I was working on was to find the purpose of my life which I could discover with EFT Tapping (6)."

Mridula Nair, one of the delegates during the EFT Practitioner Training Workshop talks about her experience with EFT Tapping and how it helped her gain the confidence to take her first client. She says- “I registered for this workshop and I will never regret it. By the time you finish the workshop, you are actually confident to take on your first client (7).

A paper by Dawson Church titled “Sports Confidence and Critical Incident Intensity After a Brief Application of Emotional Freedom Techniques: A Pilot Study” published in The Sport Journal talks about the effect of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) on performance confidence levels and other aspects.

One of the conclusions of the study is as follows: “EFT Tapping may increase sport-confidence levels by reducing the emotional and physical distress associated with the recall of critical incidents (8).”

Dr Kavita Rudagi shares her experience of how she helped her son build the confidence to write and draw with EFT Tapping.

She says- “My son was very reluctant to write and was not confident until someone held his hand while writing. I did the EFT Tapping on him for around 5 minutes for 6 consecutive days. To my surprise, he started writing on his own from the seventh day onwards. He can now write A to F and 1 to 5 all by himself. It worked like magic and he loves writing now. I feel so happy and grateful that I had this wonderful opportunity of learning from Dr Rangana (9)”.

These are some success stories where EFT Tapping was proven to work in building Unshakeable Confidence and help individuals get over their problems.

Although Emotional Freedom Techniques can be administered on the self, it is recommended to consult a professional EFT Practitioner to get help for physical and/or emotional issues you may be facing.

Unshakeable confidence can still be a goal for you, one that you want to achieve but do not know the way to do it. Alternative therapies like EFT Tapping can be the helping hand you might be needing.

You can also learn EFT Tapping professionally to help yourself and others build the unshakeable confidence and self-esteem.

Once learnt, you have a system that you can use daily to feel calm and content. Alternatively, you can also work professionally with a one-to-one Practitioner.

A qualified EFT Practitioner, who has attended EFT Training, will know how to keep you safe and support you.

Believing in yourself and that you have the right choices and decisions even when a hundred voices criticise and judge you is what we aim to achieve.

There is contentment in seeing people stand in their power and decide their path their way with confidence.

Love,

Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)

P.S. Want to discover if EFT Tapping is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.

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In summary, Unshakeable Confidence refers to the state of full alignment between the inner and outer expression of it that finds its roots in concepts like self-belief, self-trust and intuitiveness. Many people find it hard to gain such confidence and thus, alternative therapies can be a great way to go about it. EFT Tapping is one such therapy that works on the root cause and beliefs to unleash unshakeable self-confidence.

REFERENCES:

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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