How To Build Genuine Linked In Connections To Grow Your Private Practice Or Coaching Business?

In this article you will learn the 3 rules of success when sending a message in Linked In that enables for long lasting connections that fosters mutual growth and the practical do's and don't that make instant rapport, even in a message. 

​My pet peeve on Linked In is, once you make a connection, how many people, immediately send you a private message with the sole purpose of introducing themselves and pushing their website links.

They make it appear as if they want to be of value but have made no effort to look you up, see your profile and craft a message in the context of what you do!

Here are some examples of WHAT NOT TO when sending a message on linked in:

The only good thing about this message is, "Hi Rangana" (it's really good when you do begin any communication with the name of the person). The rest is all about them: "My mission, My Newsletter & I think you will like it"

Even if you have a free offer always position the offer in the spirit of what’s in it for them. And honestly let me know who wants another newsletter in today's world? It’s just more noise and a case of delete or unsubscribe. 

Again acknowledging the person and "thanks for connecting" is a really good thing. But the rest of this message is all about them and a big no no.

 Whats worse is the information is about how they have won awards. What would be better, is to have a shorter message that is about genuine connections, putting information about awards as part of the feed and not as part of the message. 

Its treated like a fish market literally shouting out .. me me .. no me me .. no no me me me... through all the noise people just get put off and become immune to what the platform is really about, which is genuine connections to support each other.

This type of pushy communication lacks rapport and any connection which, is the most basic skill on any social media platform.

Would you meet someone on the street and stop them and say to them, "let me introduce myself and here is my website link?" Then why would you do it in private message on a social media platform?

“Genuine connections take time and effort like nurturing and growing  a plant.”

Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)

I also get, that some of the time this pushy approach might get someone coming back and saying, "yes I need your help."

But its like throwing darts where from time to time, based on sheer luck you hit the bullseye - however its not consistent, and the only reason you hit the bullseye is because the person you messaged on that day had a need they wanted to fulfill or a pain that they wanted to fix.

Of course there are others who are genuine and authentic that you feel awesome connecting with and being supportive towards each other. 

Here are some examples of WHAT TO DO when sending a message on Linked In:

These are really simple messages saying hello with a simple message. It's better if you can add the name and be courteous. You can add your phone number or e-mail id below your name if you want, because the person can quickly see what you do and decide and how they prefer to reply. Be courteous with them though and greet them too. 

What was great about this, is that they actually looked me up and met me where I was at, and then offered help and finally put the links as a P.S. which is excellent. The P.S. achieves so many outcomes: Their links are not part of the main message so its not off-putting, people are more likely to see the message in the P.S.

What's great about this, is she saw my message on another group and, she acknowledged me and only then expressed her interest to connect. 

What was great about this communication, was she looked me up and knew I was Indian and added the 'Ji' at the end of the name as a sign of respect. Whenever I communicate I make sure I address the person with respect so that they also do not get the wrong idea. 

I do have empathy for those who have a business and are desperate for sales, after all it pays for ones livelihood. However, the way in which some people go about it, I fear that they will remain hungry as they don't take the effort to build long lasting relationships.

In summary the Do's & Don't to make good connections on Linked In through sending messages


  • Make the communication about them and not you  
  • Address them with respect, professionally and using their name
  • Look up their profile and write the first sentence from their world and not yours


  • Share your website links without even knowing the person or having a rapport with them
  • Send repeated messages asking them to respond to your message
  • Ask them to sign up for free stuff that has no "why" and they may not even want

So here are the rules that I have noticed creates for better connections on Linked In, that bears long lasting fruit instead of just a ripe fruit here and there. 

These rules could make a difference from putting your connections off to building long lasting connections that are about mutual support and partnership. 

Rule Number 1

Always make the conversation about the other person first, and not about what you do and what you have to offer.

Rule Number 2

Come from a space of service and "what I can do for you" and not "what you can do for me", which means look their profile up and see what they do and write your message in the context of them and not you.

Rule Number 3

Take time to build relationships. Just like when you plant seed it, takes for it to grow in to a tree that bears lots of fruit. Would you cut the tree down after it bears it first fruit?  You won't right? You would continue to take care of it and grow it. 

The fundamental premise of making connections is listening and not talking.

It's about pulling and magnetising and not pushing.

In the words of my hero Stephen Covey, "Seek to Understand, Before Being Understood."

Happy Understanding, 🙂

Love Rangana

P.S I noticed there is also an art to replying to messages, even if they appear to be soliciting that might might up there day. Watch out for that next. 

In Summary, one of the best way to make connections on Linked in is to make any communication about the person you are connecting with and not about you. It is better not to solicit and send your website links and rather look up the persons profile and send a message in rapport that lights up their day rather than makes them want to delete your message. 

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