The secret of raising happy and successful kids.
“Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science.” – Bruno Bettelheim
How important is it to you to raise happy and successful children?
One of the keys to raising happy and successful children is effective communication. When there is a breakdown in communication the child is not able to perceive love and fell that they can be successful or happy.
I remember a time when I saw bruises on my son’s body. I didn’t know what happened and I kept asking him all day long, “What happened?”
His only answer was “Nothing happened.”
I became increasing frustrated, worried and scared. His silence caused me to become even more stressed and I projected my negativity onto him.
It strained our relationship further and eventually he shut-down and preferred playing on his video games then speaking to me.
As a parent I was heart-broken, lost and felt sad.
I kept judging myself for being a bad parent and why did I raise my voice at him and I was also scared about his bruises and felt helpless and useless as a mom.
All I wanted to do was love and protect my son.
My son’s grades dropped and he began isolating himself from the world outside.
For a parent, nothing is worse than seeing your child going on a downward spiral, when all you want is for them to be happy and to do their best.
Dr Shilpa Gupta, Director of Child Mental Health Foundation & Parent Coach says, “that unless as parents, we have a sound emotional relationship with ourselves, we will never be able to have it with our children.”
She goes on to share “According to research emotions such as anger, hate, fear, anxiety and stress get stored in the frontal lobes. This causes the person to operate from a place of flight, fright and freeze rather than from what is the best for the child and parent. Once the parents emotions are emptied out only then can a meaningful communication transpire.”
While children are really open to releasing emotions and can forgive easily, they are also like clay and often tend to imitate their parents in their behaviors.
All I have to do when I’m wrong is say sorry to my son and I get a tight hug.
All is forgiven and forgotten.
In such a situation, the responsibility lies with the parent to release those emotions that do not serve a purpose, and to be a role model to their children so that children pick up on those habits and emotions and walk on the road to success.
The sooner a parent is able to release unwanted emotions, the sooner the child is able to make a connection to their parent.
The most effective method to release those unwanted emotions are EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which is clinically proven to eliminate stress, anger, anxiety and even fear.
I remember after The EFT Seminar that I attended in Mumbai, I started practicing EFT regularly at home.
I became calmer and I found I was able to give my son the space to be himself and not force him to speak or communicate.
I kept loving him and mostly importantly EFT helped me to love and accept myself.
My son only watched and imitated me. He noticed how I was changing from the inside.
A week down the line my son said to me, “You remember you asked me about all those marks on my body? Our maid used to hit me with a broom when you and Dad went to work.”
That was the most shocking moment of my life. And the most enlightening too!
I realized that changes within my son only occurred when I was able to release my stress and frustration at his lack of communication and then he felt safe and comfortable to share what had happened with me.
I am now, of course, his new best friend!
This is how Dr Shilpa Gupta a ‘Parenting Coach’ and a Vitality Living College EFT Trainer, helps and guides parents who come to her.
Dr Gupta has trained and coached hundreds of parents all over India. For the past 7 years more than 2000 parents, 500 caretakers and 400 teachers have attended her workshops and benefitted from the skills.
She quotes, “EFT is a quick, easy and effective tool to work on emotions. It doesn’t require a high IQ, qualifications, language to learn this tool.”
To meet Dr Gupta please attend her Free seminar in Delhi on May 6th on Emotions and Relationships where she will introduce you to raising happy and successful children releasing emotions and creating harmony in the home.
You can learn what is EFT by downloading a Free Booklet on EFT.
Learn how EFT Tapping heals
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In closing the secret to happy and successful children is be stress-free and happy yourself.
Donita & Team Vitality
In Summary, effective communication is the key to raise happy and successful children.
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