How to Release Anger with the help of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
In this article, you will learn how to release anger and get to the deep-rooted emotions with the help of EFT. You will also learn how to resolve the emotions beneath your anger.
Have you ever said something you didn't even mean? Instead of thinking it through, you acted impulsively. In the heat of the moment, you gave in to your anger and lost control.
Later, when you came back to your senses, you reviewed the situation objectively and guess what? You ended up hurting your loved ones over something irrelevant.
The anger lasted for a few seconds but the regret takes forever to leave. Now, if you think you are a horrible person for hurting others. Think again.
What is the main reason behind your impulsive nature? You were not born with it. What are the events that led to this situation?
Or perhaps you had a client who came to see you and you were not sure how to support them to release their anger and feel calmer.
Anger is a basic human emotion that most people go through. It is absolutely normal. We all feel angry at some point in our lives. People express anger in different ways, for example:
- Raising a clenched fist
- Throwing things on the floor
- Breaking things
- Hitting a wall (5).
But when this anger starts to cloud your senses, that is when you should consider working on it.
Sometimes, anger is just the tip of the iceberg which is visible on the surface.
There might be other underlying emotions below that surfaced anger. The emotions underlying anger may be:
- Frustration (2).
A person might show anger to mask the above emotions. People tend to hide their vulnerability with the display of anger (4).
There are also occasion when people might naturally express their anger for example when they:
- Feel rejected or threatened
- Have some experienced loss
- Following a painful physical or emotional situation
"Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration."
The leading cause of the formation of anger is a person’s environment. The other causes may be:
- Poor social and family situations
- Financial issues
- Overwhelming requirements on your time and energy (3).
Fueled by different emotions at different times, or by a combination of emotions, people tend to burst out their anger.
For some people, even a slight trigger inflates their anger.
It happens so frequently that, they regret after a bout of anger. They put themselves in a difficult situation and pollute the atmosphere as well. It harms them physically as well as mentally.
But what to do with this anger? How to release it?
With the help of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), people can work clearing anger from the root cause where they no longer feel triggered and are able to feel consistently calm.
EFT is clinically proven to lower stress, anxiety, tension, depression, and past negativity to enable health, happiness, and vitality. It is also helpful in releasing surface or deep-seated anger.
People who get triggered easily are likely to have a past experience associated with it. The emotions start piling up and turns into anger even at minor issues.
EFT is capable of taking them to those past experiences and resolve them.
"Anger triggers are people, places, situations, and things that set off anger. Your trigger can provide clues about the emotions behind the anger."
What is EFT?
EFT is a method that offers healing from physical and emotional pain. Without the use of needles, this form of acupuncture uses the fingertips to stimulate energy points on the body (1).
To learn EFT for use as a self-help tool or to work professionally with others the best way is to attend EFT Practitioner Training.
This treatment sprang from the idea that “the cause of all negative emotions is the disruption of the body's energy system” (1).
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New to EFT? Learn how EFT Tapping heals
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
So how can you work with anger either as an EFT Practitioner working with a client or as someone familiar with EFT Tapping as a result of attending EFT Practitioner Training.
The Steps to Work with a Client to Support them to Overcome Anger
Know your client
Ask your client to share what they want to explore and what is the outcome they are seeking.
Get to the core
Then ask them, “where in the body do you feel angry and what makes you angry?”
You can start tapping on the physical sensations associated with anger. For example, “Even though I feel angry in my head and it feels like it’s going to burst, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Get to the root cause
Then you can start to explore previous experiences associated with anger by asking, “When have you felt angry before?”. Then tap on the past incident associated with anger using the Tell the story technique, movie technique, or Tearless trauma. Keep tapping till your client can narrate the old incident calmly and with no charge.
Look beyond the surface anger
You can also explore what triggers the anger by asking, “What has to happen for you to feel angry? What triggers the anger? What is it that you find unacceptable and you just want to blow your top?”
Then you can go deeper and explore root memories or limiting beliefs associated with anger. Here you might find that you explore deeper themes such as feeling let down, shame, embarrassment, rejected, hurt, or even fearful and anxious.
In many cases, the anger is the surface emotion covering what’s going on at a much deeper level. It can be a defense mechanism to either keep people at bay or to get attention.
The final part of working with anger is self-forgiveness. Even though you or your client might get triggered which causes them to get angry, chances are that they might feel guilty or bad afterward. So once the client is ready for self-forgiveness, go ahead and tap with them on that. For example, “Even though I get angry and I judge myself for getting angry, I deeply and completely love and accept all of me.”
My client let go of the anger she was carrying over the years, using EFT.
One of my clients Divya used to react very abruptly even at petty issues and then would feel guilty. This was a repetitive behavior pattern in her life. Always regretting her behavior. ‘Why did I snap?’ ‘Why did I react so loud?’ ‘Why did I get furious at small things?’ ‘Why do I feel irritated so much?’ and these questions would upset her.
Then she had a coaching session with her practitioner. Starting tapping with the surface anger (like the tip of an iceberg) and later the practitioner reached the core issue.
The core issue was ‘neglected childhood’. Her parents left her with her grandparents in her early childhood due to her mother’s health issues and she had profound anger towards them. The underlying emotions were loneliness, insecurity, lack of love from parents, lack of belongingness, neglect, and many more. These feelings amassed in her and get triggered even at very simple and small issues.
The practitioner worked with her to release all the negative emotions which she was carrying in her over the years. After a couple of session with the practitioner, the anger which was accumulated in her got released.
Now, my client, Divya has started responding to the situations rather than reacting. This change in behavior patterns brought peace in her life.
In short, if you get exasperated at the small things in your life and then feel guilty about it, you can either learn it professionally and then apply EFT on yourself to let go of the anger.
What can also happen is that there might be deeper layers of past memories and limiting beliefs that might be the root cause of the anger.
This is the reason we recommend learning EFT professionally, even for self help. You will learn how to work in layers: initially on surface anger, then on the deeper issues and finally to clear the challenge from the root cause.
Once learnt, then you have a system that you can use daily to feel calm and content.
Alternatively, you can also work professionally with one to one Practitioner. As beneath the anger there can be hidden emotions which can trigger an overwhelming reaction. A qualified Practitioner, who has attended EFT Training, will know how to keep you safe and support you.
So, whether you have surface anger or deep-rooted anger, EFT Tapping can help you clear it from the root cause to make you feel calm and in control.
The truth is once you get angry with someone, you have just given your power away.
The ability to remain calm in the heart of chaos, overwhelm, and being triggered gives you your power back. And I do not mean a shutdown.
I mean genuinely owning your power and make a stand, knowing what you are feeling and choosing how to react.
In summary, whether you are working with clients or seeking to overcome anger, you can do so with EFT Tapping. This clinically proven technique can get to the root cause of anger and the associated deep seated emotions leaving you and your clients feeling calmer and at peace.
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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