How To Overcome Hurt With EFT Tapping

EFT Tapping For Hurt

This article talks about emotional hurt, its types, causes, symptoms, what to do about it and how EFT Tapping can help you overcome hurt.

Emotional Freedom Technique is an alternative therapeutic technique that has been clinically proven to help people let go of the hurt.

Did you know that our brain processes emotional hurt in the same way it processes physical pain?

Yet, we often try to suppress our feelings and trivialise them just because they’re invisible.

Don’t live with the hurt any longer. EFT Tapping can help you overcome emotional pain and break free from the shackles of the past.

The first time I remember feeling emotionally hurt is when I was in primary school and my best friend chose to play with another group of friends instead of me. Today, that sounds like a small thing to get upset over, but at the time, it made me feel really bad.

Over the years, I found myself getting hurt by a lot of things—and people. But whenever I looked back at those incidents, it felt like I’d overreacted. In hindsight, those things seem too insignificant to cause the kind of impact they did.

Even though hurt is an intense feeling, it normally wears off with time. However, some people feel so traumatised with the abandonment and fear that they find themselves unable to let go of it. They end up isolating themselves, succumbing to serious disorders.

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL HURT?

Emotional hurt is the non-physical pain we feel when experiencing grief, bereavement, or loss.

Often, emotional hurt is the result of the actions of others. Some instances that can cause emotional hurt are: not being respected, not being considered, or being laughed at.

People usually experience hurt when they believe they have been treated badly or judged unfairly. For example, betrayal, breakup, being accused, being bullied etc. can easily cause hurt.

This hurt if left unexpressed, turns into resentment and grudges that are held for too long. Holding on to such emotions has a negative impact on our health and happiness.

People who have social relationships with others that don’t share their personal values report feelings of hurt often.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF HURT?

Even though hurt is a common and natural feeling, everyone’s experience with and reason for feeling hurt is different. The intensity of hurt may vary as well. Some people may quickly recover from the feeling while others may take time depending on the intensity of the event or relationship with the person who caused them to hurt.

Hurt can be classified into two types:

Physical (a sensory component)
Psychological (an emotional component)

Physical hurt is the one that is experienced in the body. It is sensory in nature and associated with tissue damage. For example, stubbing your toe while walking will cause you physical pain. On the other hand, psychological hurt is felt on an emotional level. It can be caused by various factors related to people and situations. It is intangible and cannot be seen.

When a person experiences hurt, the brain areas processing the affective component of pain are activated. Which means that the person will experience the psychological distress of pain.

Additionally, pain and hurt also have a significant relationship with depression and suicidal tendencies. Your physical health suffers when your mental health is negatively affected and vice versa, so it forms a loop.

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WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF HURT?

Symptoms of hurt include(1):

Loneliness and isolation
Worthlessness
Restlessness and agitation
Appearing tense and uneasy
Rage, anxiety and panic
Sadness or depression
Negative thoughts and emotions
Shame or embarrassment

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it."

Helen Keller

Author

why do we feel hurt?

Some common reasons for feeling hurt include(2):

Explicit rejection - Explicit rejection is when a person is directly told that they are not accepted. For example, "I want to break up," "Leave the class," "You're fired."
Implicit rejection - Implicit rejection is when a person perceives that they have been ignored or rejected. For example, someone not responding to your calls or text.
Criticism - Criticism can bring about feelings of low self-esteem and cause hurt.
Betrayal - Betrayal is a breach of trust, and it leaves a person feeling shocked and questioning everything, causing tremendous hurt.
Being mocked - When someone mocks us, it may make us feel inferior and disrespected.
Being taken for granted - Not being valued enough or feeling like you are not considered can feel quite hurtful.
Expectations - Feeling disappointed as a result of someone not meeting your expectations causes hurt.

While physical hurt is visible, emotional hurt doesn’t have a face. It is often ignored and undermined. So, healing emotional hurt doesn’t receive the attention it needs.

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

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how to overcome hurt

All of us have experienced hurt at some point in our lives. We may have forgotten some experiences, but some might have had a deeper impact.

What we choose to do with that hurt is what makes the difference.

Would you prefer to get back to being happy and joyful in life? Or do you prefer to endlessly ruminate about the hurtful incident that cannot be changed?

If you choose the first option, there are a few ways that can help you let go of the hurt:

Accept your feelings:

The first step to overcome hurt is to accept that you are hurt and the feelings associated with it. Most of us have been conditioned to simply forget such things and move on. But sweeping the dust under the carpet doesn't mean the floor has been cleaned, right? And if we do so, we are simply suppressing those emotions which can later lead us to snap at our family members or friends or get really angry or irritated about something small at work.

Hence, it is important to acknowledge those emotions and give them time to heal rather than ignore their existence.

Sit with yourself, think of the event or the person that caused you hurt. Try to remember how you felt. Try to observe the sensations in your body as you recall this. Simply accept that you were hurt, and that's okay.

The best way to do this is to write down your feelings. Practice journaling your thoughts and emotions. Write whatever comes to your mind without judging yourself. Let it out freely. Then, if you wish, tear away the pages. You can also write a letter to the other person expressing your feelings.

Forgiveness:

In Positive Psychology, forgiveness holds a very important part in letting go and finding closure.

Holding on to the hurt does no good and leads to feelings of guilt, grudges, and resentment. When you forgive, you take your power back. It can help you to get free from the control of the person or the experience that hurt you.

Contrary to what it looks like, forgiveness is a sign of strength and it is a courageous decision. It’s simply saying, "You are a good person and so am I. Your actions hurt me, but I want to move ahead in my life and allow myself to live with joy and peace. I can’t do that completely until I let this go.” (3)

Also, forgiveness does not mean only forgiving others. You may be blaming yourself for something that went wrong which still hurts you. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong or maybe you played a role in creating your current situation.

Irrespective of what happened, you need to realise that what you did is not who you are. Free yourself from the burden of guilt and forgive yourself. You are only human.

Create Boundaries, if necessary:

Forgiving someone simply means releasing the negative feelings for the person that hurt you. But it does not necessarily mean that you need to allow them to have the same place in your life. It depends on the situation and the intensity of the hurt caused.

If they still make you uncomfortable, set boundaries around their presence in your life. Create a list of personal values for your relationships. This can serve as a guide for the kind of interactions you want to have with others. (4)

You can decide to set boundaries with people who make you compromise your values, make you feel bad by making improper comments, or call you only when they need something from you. Be mindful of what makes you uncomfortable about others and try to limit it.

Communicate your boundaries clearly with others. For example, “I appreciate your efforts for cooking this mom, but I won't join for dinner if you keep making comments about my weight.”

Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. It may seem difficult at first to be assertive, but people will eventually respect you more.

Develop Positivity:

Along with setting boundaries, make sure you spend time with people who make you happy and add to your growth. They help you feel good and supported.

Try to set a few minutes every day to say or write positive affirmations to yourself to release hurt. Here are a few affirmations to go through daily:

"I am enough."
"I am worth loving."
"I know who I am and I am aware of my value."
"I choose to be kind to myself."
"I honor myself and my decisions."
"I am beautiful."
"I believe in my capabilities."
"I do not need validation from anyone."
"I am in control of my thoughts, feelings & choices."
"I deserve good things."
honour"I love myself."

Nevertheless, if something is extremely distressing and painful (be it physical or emotional) and you don’t know how to deal with it, you could always seek help from professionals who practice techniques that are long-lasting and effective for all sorts of problems that we face in our daily lives.

One such technique is the Emotional Freedom Technique that has proven to be very effective for individuals experiencing hurt.

EVIDENCES SUPPORTING THE EFFICACY OF EFT TAPPING

Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT, is now used worldwide by millions and is clinically shown to reduce the symptoms of many mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, phobias, pain, cravings, negative emotions (for example anger, sadness, grief, fear, hurt, guilt) as well as traumatic memories, improving a person’s wellbeing and instilling feelings of calm.

According to the founder of EFT, Gary Craig, a distressing memory causes a disruption in the body's energy system that causes a negative emotion. The goal of EFT is to clear the disruption. The memory is still present, but without the disruption in the energy system, the memory no longer causes a negative emotion. Some people are bothered by their memories and others are not because some people's energy systems become imbalanced from a memory, while other people's energy systems do not. Craig has documented the successful use of EFT for many conditions and situations, including post-traumatic stress disorder in war veterans.

In this way, EFT reduces the intensity of emotional trauma and modifies the way the brain processes emotional information. (5) Hence, in case of hurt, EFT helps you clear those unresolved negative emotions associated with hurt, so that the person or event that hurt you, no longer makes you feel sad.

One of our EFT training participants, Anushri Shah, who is a Counseling Psychologist shared with us her thoughts on EFT: "EFT is a great therapy in itself. Negative emotions are released much faster and through a safe mechanism, which provides the client much relief in just a couple of sessions."

EFT is clinically proven to relieve stress and past trauma. The technique has been researched in more than ten countries, by more than 60 investigators, whose results have been published in more than 20 different peer-reviewed journals.

In one 13 months long research study conducted in West Midlands, clients availing the EFT service for a range of emotional conditions were invited to participate. (6)

At the beginning and end of their treatment, they were asked to attempt three questionnaires: the CORE10 (main outcome variable), Rosenberg Self Esteem and HADS measurement scales. Clients who completed their therapy were invited for a 3-month follow-up.

31 clients completed therapy. The main presenting conditions were depression, anxiety and anger and clients revealed up to 4 additional issues. CORE10, Rosenberg Self-Esteem, HADS Anxiety and Depression scores showed both statistically and clinically significant improvements. Improvements were seen in all except one client.

Despite the small sample size and other limitations, significant improvements were shown. The results supported the potential of EFT as a cost-effective treatment to reduce the burden of a range of physical and psychological disorders.

Another research study was conducted to measure if participating in an experiential Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) workshop could impact psychological functioning and to examine EFT’s long-term effects. 102 participants were tested with a self-report questionnaire 1 month before, at the beginning of the workshop, at the end of the workshop, 1 month after the workshop, and 6 months after the workshop. There was a significant decrease in all measures of psychological distress as measured by the questionnaire from pre-workshop to post-workshop which was held up at the 6-month follow-up. (7)

Based on discoveries from a variety of studies, EFT has proven to be 80% clinically effective for stress, fears, depression, traumatic memories, addiction, weight loss and many other somatic symptoms.

If you are a counsellor or psychologist interested in learning more about how you can use EFT tapping with your clients to achieve faster results in therapy, book your seat for a FREE EFT masterclass.

New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

CLAIM MY FREE E-BOOKLET

HOW CAN EFT TAPPING HELP YOU OVERCOME EMOTIONAL HURT?

EFT Tapping to Overcome Hurt is an alternative therapeutic method which has proven to be long lasting and effective. The sample procedure of EFT Tapping for overcoming hurt is as follows:

Step 1

Take A Quick Temperature Check

Identify and explore more about what triggers your hurt, by asking the following questions:

"What made you feel hurt?"

"Who hurt you?"

"What did they do, to make you feel this way?"
"What makes you vulnerable to hurt?"

"Would you avoid situations that hurt you, if you could?"

Step 2

Identify The Physical Sensations

Identify physical sensations that are associated with the feeling of hurt. You can explore by asking questions such as:

"How are you feeling?"
"Where in the body do you experience the hurt?"
"What is the colour, texture, size, and shape of this feeling?"
"Where in the body do you feel this hurt?"

Measure the level of the nervousness by asking: "On a scale of 1 to 10, what number is the hurt at, where 10 is really high and 1 is not high at all."

Step 3

Start Tapping On The Side Of Your Hand (Karate Chop)

Tap on The Karate Chop using the setup statement, for example:

“Even though I feel hurt about ….. and I can feel it in my ….. and it’s at a number ….. and it makes me feel ….., I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

(Repeat 3 times)

Step 4

Then Tap On The Facial And Upper Body EFT Tapping Points By Saying

Use the identified phrases to tap on the facial, upper body, and finger EFT Tapping Points:

Eyebrow: I get hurt about …..
Side of Eye/Temple: I feel it in my …..
Under Eye: It’s at a number …..
Under nose: It makes me feel …..
Chin: It’s in my ….. at a number …..
Collarbone: It makes me feel ….
Under the arm: So ….
Thumb: So ….
Index Finger: Hurt because …..
Middle Finger: I feel it in my …..
Little Finger: So ….

Step 5

Complete The Sequence By Tapping On The Side Of Your Hand Again

Close the sequence by coming back to the EFT Karate Chop Tapping Points and repeating the setup statement once:

“Even though I feel hurt about ….. and I feel it in my ….. and it’s at a number ….. and it makes me feel ….., I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

Step 6

breathe and relax

Take a gentle breath in and out, and have a sip of water.

Step 7

Test Yourself

Test the intensity of the feeling of hurt. Ask yourself the following questions:

"What number is the hurt at now?"
"What happened?"
"How does it make me feel now?"

If it has reduced to a level you feel happy with, you can stop. If you would want to reduce it more, start the procedure again.

Note: You can also tap on memories, and associated emotions that come up.

how to let go of denial?

Ideally, we’re supposed to be focusing on our problems and solve them as soon as possible. However, sometimes, it gets tough because we are in denial of the issue or the feelings of hurt in the first place.

In times like these, consider meditating, thinking with a calm, cool mind and figure out what’s going on, what the situation was, how did it make you feel, how you dealt with it and what you’d change if you could. Once you accept what happened, you’ll feel better and start on your journey to overcome the hurt.

Healing is a process. It’s a journey where you may trip sometimes, have a couple of setbacks, but that doesn’t mean that the progress you’ve made isn’t worth it. It doesn’t mean you have to start all over again.

All you need to do is try your best to move forward; and if that seems too tough, take baby steps. Allow yourself to feel hurt, process those negative feelings. You might realise you require help and Emotional Freedom Techniques will always help you overcome these feelings.

Love,

Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)

P.S. Want to discover if EFT Tapping is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.

How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner

BOOK A COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVERY CALL

In summary, whether you are experiencing hurt or working with a client who is experiencing hurt, you can try EFT Tapping. This is a clinically proven technique that can relieve symptoms of hurt and make one feel calm and be at peace.

Resources:

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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