How To Heal From Sexual Abuse With EFT Tapping
Heal From Sexual Abuse With EFT Tapping
Alarmingly, 1 in 3 women experiences some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime. In this blog, we’ll explore what sexual abuse is, how we can support someone who is suffering from sexual abuse trauma, and how EFT Tapping can help in healing it.
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE
This post may be triggering to some people. If you believe that reading stories related to sexual-abuse issues may trigger you or negatively affect your mental health, we advise you to not continue reading this post. As a precaution, read the blog when someone you trust is nearby. In case you are triggered, please don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
What do you wish someone had told you when you were 16 years old?
Most people wish they'd been educated about the difference between good touch and bad touch when they were younger.
Sexual abuse is unacceptable, and it remains an issue across the world. Shockingly, about 1 in 3 women experience some form of sexual and/or physical violence in their lifetime (1). The abuse can happen anywhere—at work, in schools, on the streets, on public transportation, and even at home.
However, the fear of not being taken seriously, as well as the legal battle for justice, prevents people from sharing their stories.
In addition to the shame and guilt that survivors may experience, many are afraid that talking about the abuse may intensify pain or grief.
“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialised, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.”
Recovery from sexual assault or abuse is different for each individual. There is no timeline for healing; it could take weeks, months, or years.
If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, please know that you are not alone. Many survivors find that realising they are not alone and that their feelings are valid is an essential first step.
In this blog post, I'd like to walk you through a few steps you can take to overcome trauma from sexual abuse. We’ll also discuss how you can support a loved one on their journey of healing from sexual abuse.
what is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is any form of non-consensual sexual activity. It can also be referred to as sexual violence or sexual assault.
Sexual abuse can take many forms:
- Sexual intercourse, such as vaginal, anal or oral.
- Incomplete sexual intercourse, where sex is attempted but unsuccessful.
- Unwanted and/or inappropriate touch.
- Non-contact sexual abuse, such as “flashing”.
- Forcing the victim to watch pornography.
- Verbal sexual assault or any form of harassment.
- Forbidding the use of birth control, often with the intent to conceive
- Forcing a partner to end a pregnancy.
- Distributing sexually graphic images of the victim
- Forcing a partner to perform sex acts in front of others
- Sexual abuse can occur between adults, as well as between minors and adults.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
CHILD sexual abuse
Child abuse occurs when a perpetrator purposefully abuses a minor physically, psychologically, sexually, or via acts of neglect.
A type of child abuse that includes sexual activity with a juvenile is known as child sexual abuse. A minor cannot give his or her consent to any sort of sexual engagement. When a perpetrator participates in this type of behaviour with a child, they are committing a crime that can have long-term consequences for the victim.
Child sexual abuse can take many forms, including but not limited to (2):
- Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself to a minor
- Inappropriate touching
- Sexual Intercourse
- Masturbation in front of a minor or forcing a minor to masturbate
- Conversations, phone calls, text messages, or digital interactions
- Producing, owning, or sharing pornographic photos or films of children
- Sex of any kind with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal
- Sex trafficking
- Any other contact of a sexual nature that involves a minor
The majority of perpetrators are known to the child or his or her family.
93% of victims under the age of 18 are aware of the abuser. They could be an older brother or playmate, a family member, a teacher, a coach or instructor, a caretaker, or the parent of another child.
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE
Many adults who were sexually abused as children have never spoken out about it. The abuse has an impact on their lives, even years later. For example:
- Inability to have a stable and steady relationship
- Trust issues
- Challenge being intimate with their partners
- Low self-esteem
- Pleasing others versus prioritising self
Many inmates in jail are known to be victims of child abuse.
Higher suicide attempts, depression tendencies, substance abuse, and personality disorders are also linked to childhood abuse (3).
What are the warning signs of child abuse?
Sexual abuse of children is not always easy to detect, and some survivors may not show any clear warning signals. Here are some signs and symptoms to watch out for:
- Bleeding, bruising, or swelling in the genital areas.
- Bloody, torn, or stained underwear.
- Pain, itching, or burning in the vaginal area.
- Displays depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (internal link) symptoms.
- Suicidal thoughts are expressed, especially in teens.
- Nightmares or wetting the bed
- Overprotective and concerned about siblings, or takes up the role of caretaker
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
#METOO MOVEMENT
If you use social media frequently, you've most probably seen the hashtag #MeToo trending on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms.
What began as a way for survivors of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse to connect and share their stories has grown into a global movement that has resulted in substantial societal and legal changes (4).
Furthermore, the movement has given survivors a sense of belonging while also igniting a national—and global—conversation about the widespread concerns of harassment and abuse, as well as the reforms that need to be addressed.
In 2017, the #MeToo movement sparked a worldwide conversation about sexual harassment, assault, and abuse in our culture. Almost 500,000 people tweeted in the first 24 hours claiming they had been victims of sexual abuse in some way.
If you were one of the many people who shared their stories of surviving child or teen sexual abuse on social media, you may have received a flood of likes and good comments, as well as a lot of love and support from friends and family, and it must have been exhilarating in an amazing way.
However, as time passed, the likes and comments dwindled and eventually vanished, and the early support you received may have waned or perhaps vanished.
Since you are aware of the pain you are carrying inside, you will require constant care from others around you in order to heal.
Over the years, there has been a rise in the number of people talking about sexual abuse. Those who have been through these events are coming forward and sharing their memories, often years later.
As a result, we are becoming more aware of the realities that many individuals of all gender and age groups have encountered.
However, some people are afraid of disclosing their experiences because they fear it will harm or damage their connections with friends, family, and love partners.
On the other side, survivors may benefit from disclosure as part of their healing process. Talking about your trauma can improve your self-esteem while also allowing you to connect with others.
Because you get to choose who you tell and what you talk about, disclosing can make you feel more powerful and in charge of your life.
The often-invisible mental health impact of sexual assault will continue as the apparent scars of sexual assault heal.
If you’re not a survivor yourself but close to one — a partner, friend or family member — you may not be able to fully understand what they’re going through, and you may feel confused or lost about how to best support them.
That's why it's best to empathize with what people are going through and learn how to assist them.
listen:
When an individual confides in you that they have been a victim of sexual abuse, it's difficult to be prepared. Let them know that if they need to talk, you are available.
Don't force them to tell you the whole story; instead, let them know that you're willing to listen to whatever they have to say.
It takes a lot of courage for a survivor to share their story; try to create a safe/nonjudgmental environment, offer emotional comfort and support so that they can express their thoughts. Stay away from offering solutions.
Ask them questions to understand what they want, and how they want to deal with it.
Believe them:
It is common for victims of sexual abuse to blame themselves. They may have already informed a family member or friend, but they might have invalidated the person’s experience and feelings.
So, whatever they share with you, believe them. They need someone on their side.
Reassure:
Nobody wants to be sexually abused as a result of how they dress, what they say, or what they do.
Reassure them that what happened was unacceptable and that their emotions, including anxiety, guilt, and fury are all normal, understandable, and acceptable feelings.
Encourage:
Encourage the victim to get medical help, file a police report, or call a hotline or helpline number. Keep in mind that they will decide what to do.
In their own lives, they are the experts. Don't be too pushy. Remember, no matter what your friend decides, you should always support them.
Suggest therapy:
Remember, no matter what your friend decides, you should always support them. Therapy is one of the most effective ways to deal with trauma. It is not your obligation as a friend or family member to treat their trauma.
You can, however, assist them in finding a therapist. Those who are made aware of the abuse may also need help. Listening about any form of abuse is not easy, and it can cause anger, rage, annoyance, hurt and disappointment. So get help, if you need it too.
I recommend therapy in the form of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Inner Child Matrix, which resolves the past incident and helps the person move on.
HOW CAN EFT TAPPING HELP WITH THE TRAUMA CAUSED BY SEXUAL ABUSE?
Sexual abuse is a traumatic incident.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can clear the negative charge from the past incident. It can neutralise the memory where it no longer has a lasting impact on your daily life. For example, it helps to:
- Put the past in the past
- Be able to move on
- Overcome the PTSD symptoms
- No longer have flashbacks or nightmares
- Have healthier relationships
- Increase self-esteem
- Develop trust
EFT Tapping is a mind-body method that helps in providing a sense of peace and calmness by:
- Clearing trauma so that it is firmly in the past
- Creating acceptance of what happened versus being in denial
- Initiating self-forgiveness versus blaming oneself for the incident
STEPS TO OVERCOME SEXUAL ABUSE TRAUMA WITH EFT TAPPING
Any form of therapy involves working with sensitivity. However, when working with someone who has suffered from sexual abuse, you have to be even more mindful.
The client must feel safe to open up and be reassured that everything is confidential.
During the initial consultation call, the EFT Practitioner needs to establish:
- What the client wants to explore
- What is their ideal outcome (not to assume what the client wants?)
- What have they done so far to overcome the trauma, and what has worked and not worked?
- What are their expectations from their EFT Practitioner?
The sessions need to move at a pace the client is comfortable with.
I remember once working with a client who had been sexually abused and the incident was about an hour long. We worked on the incident over 6 sessions, in a step-by-step manner:
Session 1
In the first session, we split the whole incident into 6 episodes. The episodes were placed in DVD boxes and then in another box and then a trunk at the bottom of the sea.
For the remainder of the session, we worked on emotions associated with the incident and the incident being at the bottom of the sea.
We used the triple point calmer taught during EFT Practitioner Training, which is tapping under the eyes, under the collar bone and the arm throughout.
For example,
- “Even though this happened and what happened was terrible, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”
- “Even though this happened and it’s in the box at the bottom of the sea, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Understandably, she experienced many emotions in the first session. She cried a lot, also known as abreaction in therapy, which is a normal yet intense emotional reaction.
Every time she would get emotional, I would say to her reassuringly,
- It’s ok, it’s safe to let it all out
- Breathe, breathe, breathe, just breathe
- Take a sip of water
Session 2
In the second session, I started by asking her, “How are you feeling?” and “What happened since we last met?” After she responded, I asked her what would she like to explore that day. She said she was ready to tackle the first DVD.
She imagined going to the bottom of the sea bringing the trunk back and opening the set of DVD boxes. She brought the first box for our second session.
The incident in the first box was only a few minutes long. This is not unusual, where you might work with a client for one hour on only a small segment of a memory. We used a technique known as the Movie Technique in EFT Tapping.
Initially, I asked her to put the scene onto a movie screen and to distance it and notice how she felt about it now. We used EFT Tapping methods where she could clear the past trauma safely and gently, without retraumatizing her.
Some techniques enable dissociation from the past and yet root it out from the energy system.
What the client uncovered was, as she rang the doorbell to her friend’s house, she felt a gut instinct to leave, but still proceeded to enter.
She judged herself for not listening to her intuition. Once the session was complete, my client was able to forgive herself.
Session 3, 4, 5
In the next sessions, we worked on the DVD boxes in order.
On finishing the 6th session, my client finally felt safe to go to a party at another friend’s house. Her friend who had committed the unforgivable act was also at the party.
She was able to walk up to him and express what he did was wrong. That evening she also met a man who asked her on a date. She decided to take it slow and shared that she would like to get to know him fully, rather than rushing into things.
This is because in our therapy sessions she learnt that sometimes entering into a relationship was born from the need for love on the outside, and not feeling like it was the right thing in her gut.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can help overcome the past and allow you to move on in a healthy and wholesome manner.
In order to overcome the past trauma, the following techniques that I teach during EFT Practitioner and Inner Child Matrix Training are helpful:
- Going at a pace the client is comfortable with
- Always checking in with the client so that they feel safe
- Using the box technique to work through each aspect of the past trauma safely
- Using techniques like the Movie technique, Tearless Trauma, and Inner Child Matrix to clear the past trauma
- Getting the client to express honestly to the people involved how they really felt about what happened
- Realising that they were not to blame and what happened was wrong and unacceptable
- Exploring the concept of feeling impure and who they are is pure and untouched. Those who have been sexually abused can feel dirty.
- Exploring forgiveness organically
- Transforming limiting beliefs to more empowering ones
- Creating a compelling future where can trust and follow their own inner guidance
hotlines for help
Sexual abuse can affect people of different ages, genders, and origins. There is no shame in getting treatment if you have been the victim of sexual violence.
India:
Sakshi - violence intervention centre:
(0124) 2562336/ 5018873
Recovering and Healing from Incest (RAHI)
A support centre for women survivors of child sexual abuse:
(011) 26238466/ 26224042, 26227647
USA:
StrongHearts Native Helpline:
1 (844) 762 – 8483
UK:
The Survivors Trust:
0808 801 0818
Abuse of any kind must be frowned upon but what we witness is exactly the opposite of what we advocate for. Survivors of sexual abuse struggle to voice their stories and are gradually consumed by guilt and shame.
There is still a lot that has to be done before sexual assault and abuse become a thing of the past, from improvements in federal laws to true protection for survivors who speak up and suffer from it.
Dealing with the deeper trauma of sexual abuse is way trickier and requires a lot of sensitivity. However, helping the wounded souls find a little of their own selves and resolving some of their trauma is a rather crucial element of the big battle.
EFT is one such mode through which the trauma can be tackled to render some relief.
I hope this article helped you realise that overcoming the trauma from sexual abuse is possible, even if it takes some time.
Love,
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
P.S. Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, it is extremely difficult to deal with sexual abuse, yet there is still hope for you to heal. If you know someone who is a victim, stand up for them and listen to what they have to say. Belief and positive support for your friend can have a significant impact on their healing journey. EFT is a beautiful way to start your healing journey.
References:
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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