How To Heal From Sexual Abuse With EFT Tapping
Heal From Sexual Abuse With EFT Tapping
Alarmingly, 1 in 3 women experience some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime. In this blog, we'll explore what sexual abuse is, how you can support someone who's suffering from sexual abuse trauma, and how EFT Tapping can help in the healing process.
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE
This post may be triggering for some individuals. If you believe that reading about sexual abuse issues may trigger you or negatively impact your mental health, we advise you not to continue reading this post. As a precaution, consider reading this blog when someone you trust is nearby. If you do become triggered, please don't hesitate to seek professional help.
What do you wish someone had told you when you were 16 years old?
Most people wish they'd been educated about the difference between good touch and bad touch when they were younger.
Sexual abuse is unacceptable, and remains a pervasive issue worldwide. Shockingly, about 1 in 3 women experience some form of sexual and/or physical violence in their lifetime (1). Abuse can occur anywhere—at work, in schools, on the streets, on public transportation, and even at home.
However, the fear of not being taken seriously, coupled with the potential legal battle for justice, often prevents survivors from sharing their stories.
In addition to the shame and guilt they may experience, many fear that discussing the abuse could intensify their pain or grief.
“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialised, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.”
Recovery from sexual assault or abuse is different for each individual. There is no timeline for healing; it could take weeks, months, or years.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, please know this: you are not alone. Many survivors say that realising they are not alone and that their feelings are valid is one of the most important early steps in healing.
In this blog post, I'd like to gently walk you through a few steps that may support recovery from the trauma of sexual abuse. You’ll also explore how to support a loved one on their own healing journey.
what is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is any form of non-consensual sexual activity. It can also be referred to as sexual violence or sexual assault, and can occur between adults, or between adults and minors.
Sexual abuse can take many forms:
- Forced sexual intercourse, such as vaginal, anal or oral.
- Attempted (but incomplete) sexual intercourse.
- Unwanted and/or inappropriate touch.
- Non-contact sexual abuse, such as “flashing”.
- Coercing someone to watch pornography.
- Verbal sexual harassment or threats.
- Forbidding the use of birth control (often to force conception).
- Forcing a partner to end a pregnancy.
- Distributing sexually explicit images of the person without consent.
- Forcing someone to perform sexual acts in front of others.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
CHILD sexual abuse
Child abuse occurs when a perpetrator purposefully abuses a minor physically, psychologically, sexually, or through acts of neglect.
Child sexual abuse is a specific form of child abuse involving sexual activity with a minor. A minor cannot give his or her consent to any sort of sexual engagement. When a perpetrator engages in such behaviour with a child, they are committing a serious crime that can have long-term consequences for the victim.
Child sexual abuse can take many forms, including but not limited to (2):
- Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself to a minor
- Inappropriate touching
- Sexual Intercourse
- Masturbation in front of a minor or forcing a minor to masturbate
- Sexual conversations, phone calls, text messages, or digital interactions
- Creating, possessing, or sharing pornographic images or videos of children
- Any form of sexual activity with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal sex
- Sex trafficking
- Any other sexual contact involving a minor
In most cases, the perpetrator is someone known to the child or their family.
93% of victims under the age of 18 know their abuser.
The abuser could be an older sibling or playmate, a relative, a teacher, a coach, a caretaker, or the parent of another child.
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT OF CHILDHOOD ABUSE
Many adults who were sexually abused as children have never spoken out about it. The impact of that abuse often continues to affect their lives, even years later. Common long-term effects include:
- Difficulty forming stable, lasting relationships
- Deep trust issues
- Challenges with intimacy
- Low self-esteem
- Prioritising others over oneself (people-pleasing)
In fact, many inmates in prison are known to have been victims of child abuse.
Higher suicide attempts, depression tendencies, substance abuse, and personality disorders are also linked to childhood abuse (3).
What are the warning signs of child sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse of children is not always easy to detect, and some survivors may not show any clear warning signs. However, here are some indicators to be aware of:
- Bleeding, bruising, or swelling in the genital area.
- Torn, stained, or bloody underwear.
- Complaints of pain, itching, or burning in the vaginal or anal area.
- Symptoms of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
- Expressing suicidal thoughts, especially in teenagers.
- Bedwetting or frequent nightmares.
- Acting overly protective of siblings or assuming a caretaker role.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
#METOO MOVEMENT
If you use social media frequently, you've likely seen the hashtag #MeToo trending on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
What began as a way for survivors of sexual harassment, assault, and abuse to connect and share their stories has grown into a global movement that has resulted in substantial societal and legal changes (4).
Furthermore, the movement has created a sense of belonging for survivors and ignited a national—and international—conversation about the widespread nature of harassment and abuse, along with the urgent reforms that need to follow.
In 2017, the #MeToo movement catalysed a global reckoning around sexual harassment and abuse. Within the first 24 hours alone, nearly 500,000 people tweeted, stating that they had been victims of some form of sexual abuse.
If you were one of the many people who shared their stories of surviving child or teen sexual abuse on social media, you may have received an outpouring of likes, supportive comments, and love from friends, family, and strangers. It might have felt validating and empowering in ways words can hardly describe.
But as time went on, the likes and comments may have faded and with them, the sense of visible support. The initial wave of encouragement may have diminished or even disappeared altogether.
Yet, the pain within remains. And healing from that pain often requires more than a moment of visibility; it calls for consistent, compassionate care from those around you, long after the spotlight has shifted.
Over the years, there has been a rise in the number of people talking about sexual abuse. Those who have been through these events are coming forward and sharing their memories, often years later.
As a result, we are becoming more aware of the realities that many individuals of all gender and age groups have encountered.
However, some people are afraid of disclosing their experiences because they fear it will harm or damage their connections with friends, family, and love partners.
At the same time, disclosure can be an important part of the healing process. Speaking about trauma can help rebuild self-worth and open the door to deeper connection with others.
Because survivors choose who they tell and what they share, disclosure can restore a sense of power and control over their lives.
While the physical wounds of sexual assault may heal, the emotional and psychological impact often remains hidden.
If you’re not a survivor yourself but close to one — a partner, friend or family member — you may not be able to fully understand what they’re going through, and you may feel confused or lost about how to best support them.
That's why it's best to empathise with what people are going through and learn how to assist them.
listen:
When someone shares that they’ve been sexually abused, it can be difficult to know how to respond. One of the most important things you can do is to let them know you are available if they wish to talk.
Don't press them to tell you the whole story; instead, let them know that you're willing to listen to whatever they have to say.
It takes a lot of courage for a survivor to share their story; try to create a safe/nonjudgmental environment, offer emotional comfort and support so that they can express their thoughts. Stay away from offering solutions.
Ask them questions to understand what they want, and how they want to deal with it.
Believe them:
It is common for victims of sexual abuse to blame themselves. They may have already informed a family member or friend, but they might have invalidated the person’s experience and feelings.
So, whatever they share with you, believe them. They need someone on their side.
Reassure:
Nobody wants to be sexually abused as a result of how they dress, what they say, or what they do.
Reassure them that what happened was unacceptable and that their emotions, including anxiety, guilt, and fury are all normal, understandable, and acceptable feelings.
Encourage:
Encourage the victim to get medical help, file a police report, or call a hotline or helpline number. Keep in mind that they will decide what to do.
In their own lives, they are the experts. Don't be too pushy. Remember, no matter what your friend decides, you should always support them.
Suggest therapy:
Remember, no matter what your friend decides, you should always support them. Therapy is one of the most effective ways to deal with trauma. It is not your obligation as a friend or family member to treat their trauma.
You can, however, assist them in finding a therapist. Those who are made aware of the abuse may also need help. Listening about any form of abuse is not easy, and it can cause anger, rage, annoyance, hurt and disappointment. So get help, if you need it too.
I recommend therapy in the form of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Inner Child Matrix, which resolves the past incident and helps the person move on.
HOW CAN EFT TAPPING HELP WITH THE TRAUMA CAUSED BY SEXUAL ABUSE?
Sexual abuse is a traumatic incident.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can help neutralise the emotional intensity of past incidents, so that they no longer have a lasting impact on daily life. For example, EFT may support individuals to:
- Place the past firmly in the past
- Move forward with greater ease
- Overcome symptoms of PTSD
- Reduce or eliminate flashbacks and nightmares
- Build healthier relationships
- Increase self-esteem
- Rebuild trust
EFT Tapping is a gentle mind-body technique that supports a sense of peace and calm by:
- Clearing trauma so it no longer dominates the present
- Encouraging acceptance of what happened, rather than remaining in denial
- Promoting self-forgiveness, rather than self-blame
STEPS TO OVERCOME SEXUAL ABUSE TRAUMA WITH EFT TAPPING
Any form of therapy involves working with sensitivity. However, when working with someone who has suffered from sexual abuse, you have to be even more mindful.
The client must feel safe to open up and be reassured that everything is confidential.
During the initial consultation call, the EFT Practitioner needs to establish:
- What the client wants to explore?
- What is their ideal outcome (not to assume what the client wants)?
- What have they done so far to overcome the trauma, and what has worked and not worked?
- What are their expectations from their EFT Practitioner?
The sessions need to move at a pace the client is comfortable with.
I remember once working with a client who had been sexually abused and the incident was about an hour long. We worked on the incident over 6 sessions, in a step-by-step manner:
Session 1
In the first session, we split the whole incident into 6 episodes. The episodes were placed in DVD boxes and then in another box and then a trunk at the bottom of the sea.
For the remainder of the session, we worked on emotions connected to the incident, imagining the event as being placed at the bottom of the sea.
We used the Triple Point Calmer technique taught during EFT Practitioner Training, which is tapping under the eyes, under the collar bone and the arm throughout. Examples of the set-up phrases used:
- “Even though this happened and what happened was terrible, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”
- “Even though this happened and it’s in the box at the bottom of the sea, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Understandably, she experienced a wave of emotions during the first session. She cried a great deal, a response known as abreaction in therapy, which is a normal but intense emotional release.
Every time she would get emotional, I would say to her reassuringly,
- "It’s ok, it’s safe to let it all out."
- "Breathe, breathe, breathe, just breathe."
- "Take a sip of water."
Session 2
In the second session, I started by asking her, “How are you feeling?” and “What happened since we last met?” After she responded, I asked her what would she like to explore that day. She said she was ready to tackle the first DVD.
She imagined going to the bottom of the sea bringing the trunk back and opening the set of DVD boxes. She brought the first box for our second session.
The incident in the first box was only a few minutes long. This is not unusual, where you might work with a client for one hour on only a small segment of a memory. We used a technique known as the Movie Technique in EFT Tapping.
I began by inviting her to project the scene onto an imaginary movie screen, to observe it from a distance, and to notice how she felt about it in the present moment. Using EFT Tapping, we gently cleared the traumatic imprint, in a way that was both safe and non-retraumatising.
Certain techniques enable a person to remain dissociated from the intensity of the past, while still releasing its energetic hold.
What she uncovered was this: as she rang the doorbell to her friend’s house, she had a gut instinct urging her to walk away, but she ignored it and went in anyway.
She had carried deep self-judgement for not listening to her intuition. By the end of the session, she was able to release that judgement and offer herself forgiveness.
Session 3, 4, 5
In the next sessions, we worked on the DVD boxes in order.
After completing her 6th session, my client finally felt safe enough to attend a party at a friend’s house. The same friend who had previously committed the unforgivable act was also present.
She found the courage to walk up to him and express that what he did was wrong. That evening, she also met a man who asked her out on a date. She chose to take things slowly and told him she wanted to get to know him properly before moving forward.
This shift came from insights gained during our therapy sessions, where she recognised that, in the past, entering relationships often stemmed from a need for external love, rather than a feeling of inner alignment or gut-level certainty.
New to EFT? Learn how Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping heals.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) can support the healing of past trauma, enabling individuals to move forward in a healthy and integrated way.
During EFT Practitioner and Inner Child Matrix Training, I teach the following approaches to safely and effectively work through past trauma:
- Going at a pace the client is comfortable with.
- Always checking in with the client so that they feel safe.
- Using the Box Technique to work through each aspect of the past trauma safely.
- Using techniques like the Movie technique, Tearless Trauma, and Inner Child Matrix to clear the past trauma.
- Getting the client to express honestly to the people involved how they really felt about what happened.
- Realising that they were not to blame and what happened was wrong and unacceptable.
- Exploring the concept of feeling impure and who they are is pure and untouched. Those who have been sexually abused can feel dirty.
- Exploring forgiveness organically.
- Transforming limiting beliefs to more empowering ones.
- Creating a compelling future where can trust and follow their own inner guidance.
hotlines for help
Sexual abuse can affect people of different ages, genders, and origins. There is no shame in getting treatment if you have been the victim of sexual violence.
India:
Sakshi - violence intervention centre:
(0124) 2562336/ 5018873
Recovering and Healing from Incest (RAHI)
A support centre for women survivors of child sexual abuse:
(011) 26238466/ 26224042, 26227647
USA:
StrongHearts Native Helpline:
1 (844) 762 – 8483
UK:
The Survivors Trust:
0808 801 0818
Abuse of any kind must be frowned upon but what we witness is exactly the opposite of what we advocate for. Survivors of sexual abuse struggle to voice their stories and are gradually consumed by guilt and shame.
There is still a long way to go before sexual assault and abuse become a thing of the past, from strengthening laws to ensuring genuine protection for survivors who speak up and face the consequences.
Addressing the deeper trauma of sexual abuse requires great sensitivity. Supporting these wounded souls in rediscovering parts of themselves and gently beginning to resolve their trauma is a vital part of the larger healing journey.
EFT is one such mode through which the trauma can be tackled to render some relief.
I hope this article reminded you that healing from the trauma of sexual abuse is possible, even if it takes time.
Love,
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
P.S. Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
How To Self-Heal & Become An EFT Practitioner
Discover how EFT Tapping can help you to self-heal or to become professionally qualified as a Certified EFT Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.
In summary, it is extremely difficult to deal with sexual abuse, yet there is still hope for you to heal. If you know someone who is a victim, stand up for them and listen to what they have to say. Belief and positive support for your friend can have a significant impact on their healing journey. EFT is a beautiful way to start your healing journey.
References:
Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.
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