How I Eliminated fear of working on my grief

"I have learned that with grief, you have to take it one day at a time, and learn how to find the happiness amid the heartbreak." Adrienne C. Moore

Grief can come into your life for many reasons.

For me, it crept in when my mother recently passed away.  

Many can have an intense period of grief depending on how close they were to the person they lost, or how their coping mechanism works.

I can tell you that for me, it was like a sword piercing my heart, making it hard for me to even breathe fully. I felt like a part of my soul left with my mother.

Before I knew it I was plunging with great speed into the dark pit of depression.

I felt that I would never come out of this deep spiral that i had plunged into.

That this was the end for me, and the hard part was that I could not even express myself to others let alone being able to accept the fact that my mother had gone.

As a coach, I was aware of how I need to get myself out of this grief, and I tried. 

Every time I worked on my grief, I passed out. Such was the intensity of what I was feeling.

Friends and family would advise me and the famous one of all was ‘Time will heal you’, which just sounded like hollow words to me.

I knew that they just wanted to help, but I did not want to even approach my grief yet. ‘I WAS SCARED’. The intensity of my grief just blocked out everyone and I was okay like that.

I felt it was easier to stay with that grief than face it head-on, and let go of the fear.

The fear came up as a result of my experience of intense grief.

After all, I had never gone through this level of grief before. For many people who seem blocked to counseling and healing, this could be a reason.

I decided to work on my grief and take it one step at a time.

The first thing I had to do was approach my fear of dealing with grief. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) helped me eliminate this fear with as little trauma as possible.

If you're new to EFT you can download a free booklet below and start tapping right away.

What is  EFT Tapping And How It Heals?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

A little side note before we begin:

Grief is a very delicate emotion and if you are inexperienced, directly working on grief might even send you into abreaction.

It's best to start at the emotions surrounding the grief and then slowly approach the grief with caution.

Tapping Script I Used to Let Go of my Fear of Working on My Grief

Round 1:

Karate Chop: Even though I’m so scared and overwhelmed, I love and accept myself.(3 times).

Eyebrow: I am so scared.

Side of the eye: I am so overwhelmed.

Under the eye: My heart aches...

Under the nose: I'm so afraid.

Chin: I don’t know what to do.

Collarbone: I need help.

Under the arm: I don’t know how to deal with this fear.

Thumb: I’m scared I will pass out again.

Index Finger: Will I ever be able to get over this fear?

Middle Finger: This fear of approaching my grief.

Little Finger: Even the thought of it.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am scared and overwhelmed, and I do not know how to get rid of this fear, I am open to the possibility of love. I love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 2:

Karate Chop: Even though I am so scared, that even the thought of working on myself is so scary. I love a accept myself (3 times).

Eyebrow: I'm so scared.

Side of the eye: I am overwhelmed.

Under the eye: I wish this fear goes away.

Under the nose: I am scared I will pass out again.

Chin: And I will not be able to get rid of this grief forever.

Collarbone: This is so scary.

Under the arm: I do not know if this is normal.

Thumb: I don’t want to go into depression.

Index Finger: I have responsibilities.

Middle Finger: It is getting hard to breathe now.

Little Finger: I am so uncomfortable.

Top of the head: I choose to breathe now and let my chest relax (breathe in and out while tapping).

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am so scared right now to even approach my grief. Suppose somehow I could find the courage and be relieved.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 3:

Karate Chop: Even though I am open to working on myself, I am still scared of approaching my grief, I love and accept myself

Eyebrow: I want to be fearless.

Side of the eye: I know I can get help outside too.

Under the eye: I know I can help myself.

Under the nose: This fear is just superficial.

Collarbone: What if I could breathe easily?

Under the arm: What if I could be fearless?

Thumb: I can trust my friends and family.

Index Finger: I can trust myself.

Middle Finger: I can get an opinion.

Little Finger: There is support.

Top of the head: Suppose somehow I find the courage to face my fear of approaching my grief. I am grateful for all the help I receive.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am fearful. I am open to the possibility of taking help and support. I love and accept myself completely.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

Round 4:

Karate Chop: Even though I really love my mom and separation from her is so painful, I am scared to work on myself, I whole-heartedly love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I am allowing myself to love myself.

Side of the eye: I am allowing myself to be fearless.

Under the eye: I am allowing myself to approach this grief.

Under the nose: With as little as trauma as possible.

Chin: May be take advise from others.

Collarbone: May be trusting the process a little.

Under the arm: I love myself more.

Thumb: I am sorry for all the ways I have blocked my healing.

Index Finger: I am grateful for all the advice and support I receive.

Middle Finger: I am grateful to my mentor for teaching me EFT.

Little Finger: With as little trauma as possible.

Top of the head: I love myself for being fearless.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I was scared of working on my grief, that was then and this is now, I am grateful for having the support I need. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water

I am still a work in progress and I’m sure I will transform my grief into something beautiful someday.

I have hope that this grief will give me the motivation I need to be able to be kind and understanding towards myself and others in a similar situation.

Keep Tapping

Love Donita 

P.S. Here is another tapping sequence to let go, forgive and move on.

Disclaimer: The information on this website is purely for educational purposes and does not in any way replace the requirement for medical and psychological diagnosis and treatment. Please do seek professional medical and psychological diagnosis and advice for all medical and mental health conditions. It is advised to always book any consultations with qualified professionals.

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