How I Eliminated fear of working on my grief | Vitality Living College

How I Eliminated fear of working on my grief

"I have learned that with grief, you have to take it one day at a time, and learn how to find the happiness amid the heartbreak." Adrienne C. Moore

Grief can come into your life for many reasons. For me it creeped in when my mother recently passed away.  Many can have an intense period of grief depending on how close they were to the person they lost, or how they’re coping mechanism works.

I can tell you that for me, it was like a sword piercing my heart, making it hard for me to even breathe fully. I felt like a part of my soul left with my mother.

Before I knew it I was plunging with great speed into the dark pit of depression.

As a coach, I was aware of how I need to get myself out of this grief, and I really tried. Every time I worked on my grief, I passed out. Such was the intensity of what I was feeling. Friends and family would advise me and the famous one of all was ‘Time will heal you’, which just sounded like hollow words to me.

I knew that they just wanted to help, but I did not want to even approach my grief yet. ‘I WAS SCARED’. The intensity of my grief just blocked out everyone and I was okay like that.

The fear came up as a result of my experience of intense grief. Afterall I had never gone through this level of grief before. For many people who seem blocked to counselling and healing, this could be a reason.

I decided to work on my grief and take it one step at a time. The first thing I had to do was approach my fear of dealing with the grief. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) helped me eliminate this fear with as little as trauma as possible.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) is clinically proven to lower stress, tension, anxiety, past-trauma to enable health, happiness and vitality.

It can reduce stress in seconds.

Tapping Script for Eliminating fear of working through grief


Round 1:

Karate Chop: Even though I’m so scared and overwhelmed, I love and accept myself.(3 times).

Eyebrow: I am so scared

Side of the eye: ​I am so overwhelmed

Under the eye: ​My heart aches

Under the nose: Im so afraid

Chin: I don’t know what to do

Collarbone: ​I need help

Under the arm: I don’t know how to deal with this fear

Thumb: ​I’m scared i will pass out again

Index Finger: Will I ever be aale to get over this fear

Middle Finger: ​This fear of approaching my grief

Ring Finger: ​Oh the thought of it

Little Finger: Even the thought of it

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am scared and overwhelmed, and I do not know how to get rid of this fear, I am open to the possibility of love. I love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water


Round 2:

Karate Chop: Even though I am so scared, that even the thought of working on myself is so scary. I love a accept myself (3 times).

Eyebrow: I'm so scared

Side of the eye: I am overwhelmed

Under the eye: I wish this fear goes away

Under the nose: I am scared I will pass out again

Chin: And I will not be able to get rid of this grief forever

Collarbone: This is so scary

Under the arm: I do not know if this is normal

Thumb: I don’t want to go into depression

Index Finger: I have responsibilities

Middle Finger: It is getting hard to breathe now

Ring Finger: I feel like I have a stone on my chest

Little Finger: I am so uncomfortable

Top of the head: I choose to breathe now and let my chest relax (breathe in and out while tapping)

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am so scared right now to even approach my grief. Suppose somehow I could find the courage and be relieved.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water


Round 3:

Karate Chop: Even though I am open to working on myself, I am still scared of approaching my grief I love and accept myself

Eyebrow: I want to be fearless

Side of the eye: I know i can get help outside too

Under the eye: I know I can help myself 

Under the nose: This fear is just superficial

Collarbone: What if I could breathe easily

Under the arm: What if I could be fearless

Thumb: I can trust my friends and family

Index Finger: I can trust myself

Middle Finger: I can get an opinion

Ring Finger: I don’t need to work on this alone

Little Finger: There is support

Top of the head: Suppose somehow I find the courage to face my fear of approaching my grief. I am grateful for all the help I receive.

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I am fearful. I am open to the possibility of taking help and support. I love and accept myself completely

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water


Round 4:

Karate Chop: Even though I really love my mom and separation from her is so painful, I am scared to work on myself, I whole heartedly love and accept myself.

Eyebrow: I am allowing myself to love myself

Side of the eye: I am allowing myself to be fearless

Under the eye: I am allowing myself to approach this grief

Under the nose: With as little as trauma as possible

Chin: May be take advise from others

Collarbone: May be trusting the process a little

Under the arm: I love myself more

Thumb: I am sorry for all the ways I have blocked my healing

Index Finger: I am grateful for all the advice and support I receive

Middle Finger: I am grateful to my mentor for teaching me EFT

Ring Finger: I can safely work on my grief

Little Finger: With as little trauma as possible

Top of the head: I love myself for being fearless

Closing sequence (Karate chop): Even though I was scared of working on my grief, that was then and this is now, I am grateful for having the support I need. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Breathe in and out and take a sip of water


I am still a work in progress and I’m sure I will transform my grief into something beautiful someday. I have hope that this grief will give me the motivation I need to be able to be kind and understanding towards myself and others in a similar situation.

Keep Tapping

Love Donita 

P.S. Here is another tapping sequence to let go, forgive and move on.


Donita Packard is a Coach & Matrix Reimprinting with EFT Practitioner.


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