How to resolve any problem – The 7 steps
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein
How often has someone shared with you that, “Life is not a bed of roses” ?
On one occasion my impressionable mind almost believed it.
It was at a time when I felt life could never be perfect, and there is no point trying to prove it otherwise.
Overtime I realised, “Life is a bed of roses – all you have to do is accept the thorns.”
I could derive a new perspective from a common quote.
Have you ever been pricked by a thorn? It hurts! Ouch.
At times the prick is so deep that the finger bleeds momentarily. And yet over time the incident is forgotten.
In life, problems occur. And there is a choice to either face them or avoid them.
Have you ever wished your problems would just go away? And no matter how hard you willed them away, they kept coming back.
Problems can fall into a variety of different categories:
- Relationship issues and fights that do not seem to resolve
- A health challenge, for example difficulty sleeping, recurring anxiety
- Wanting to get a divorce, yet feeling crippled to take action
- Feeling trapped at work and wanting to quit
Last September, I was facing a difficulty traveling in the underground and I kept wishing it would go away. As soon as I would enter the confined space of the underground I would feel trapped. Within seconds, my heart would start racing.
It seemed illogical to me. Panic stricken, I would race out of the underground station and order an Uber to go home instead.
It took me time to accept there was a problem and it prompted me to develop these 7 steps to resolving any problem.
The 7 steps to resolving a problem:
1. Accept that there is a problem – I have found that when I have the courage to accept that there is a problem I feel more relaxed. If I try to deny the problem it ends up causing more stress and frustration. Acceptance allows the space to find healthy and empowering solutions.
I love one of the first tapping sequences I learnt during a 3 day training program on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) training:
“Even though I have this problem, I love and accept myself.”
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2. Decide what you want to do about it – Once I accepted that I had a problem traveling on the underground my next step was to decide what to do about it. I decided that I wanted to have the choice to travel on the underground, free from feeling trapped.
3. Explore what is preventing you from resolving it – Once you decide what you want, the next step is to explore what is preventing you from addressing it. There can be many reasons, for example:
- Your ego trying to protect yourself from something;
- A past pain of your deepest sorrows which remain within you;
- A fear of failure of letting down oneself and others;
- Thinking you have no strength to face it.
In my case, I was scared to face the panic attacks as I had the thought, “What if it never changes and I can never travel”. This fear kept me from addressing the issue.
4. Identify how your life will change once you resolve it – I knew once I resolved my challenge of traveling in tubes, I would feel more relaxed and have freedom of choice. I would no longer have to face the terrifying symptoms or limit my flexibility to want to travel in different ways.
5. Facing the problem and addressing it – Accepting, taking responsibility and confronting your problems head on, is the only way to move forward and progress. Once you choose to face it, you are liberating yourself from your “suffering”.
6. Get help of a coach/practitioner to support you – Staying receptive to external help as you move forward can be of great value. You can either hire a certified coach and practitioner or learn the skills yourself. With my underground problem, I used the techniques I teach on myself as well as sought external help.
7. Be kind to yourself – Facing a problem can feel daunting and scary. Be gentle and kind as you go through the process of letting go and moving on.
So in closing. Problems do not have to control or limit you. There is a choice. With these 7 steps you can navigate a way forward.
There is no failure – only winning or learning!
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
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