How to Overcome Sadness with EFT: Techniques for Emotional Healing
Sadness can sometimes be so overwhelming that it becomes difficult to deal with. In this blog, you will learn about sadness, how to cope with sadness, and how EFT Tapping can help you free yourself from the trap of negative feelings.
Have you been feeling sad lately? How to overcome sadness and clinical depression?
Do you ever feel like no one understands you because sadness is not taken seriously anymore and your struggle is shrugged off?
Due to the impact of social media, sadness has become extremely romanticized. People talk about their sad emotions, and how being sad is beautiful. Some might even act sad because they want to be seen a certain way.
Such individuals have heavily misunderstood the feeling and perpetuated the spread of harmful beliefs.
WHAT IS SADNESS?
Sadness is a natural and normal emotion that surfaces when you feel emotionally disturbed, upset, or in emotional pain.
Sometimes, this emotion can be so strong and overwhelming that you lose awareness of your senses, becoming unable to realize that something's wrong and you're not okay.
Feelings of sadness can range from fairly mild to intense. This emotion can also present itself in the form of anger, anxiety, stress, or many other negative emotions.
When I lost my grandma a couple of years ago, I was in my teens and didn't know how to help myself and cope with her loss since she was my favorite person.
It felt like everything had just ended and my world came crashing down; it was a nightmare, honestly.
This feeling stayed within me for so long that I got consumed by it and began to fear any sort of relationship, be it with friends or family. It escalated to a point where I was not sad but in major depression.
But as soon as I stopped being in denial about her not being alive anymore, I got the help I needed to move on from this intense, emotional rollercoaster that I had been going through.
SADNESS - A BASIC HUMAN EMOTION
Since childhood, we have been conditioned to think that happiness is good and sadness is bad. We're told by elders to be happy, to smile, to not cry, and to not be sad.
But the truth is, sadness is a basic human emotion, just like joy, anger, fear, and disgust. All these emotions have their own importance.
If there was no sadness, we would never feel emotional or empathetic. We would only try to make things happy and experience positive emotions, but that's not how life works.
It's healthy to have a balance of all emotions because that's what makes us humans! It's okay to feel sad. However, if it goes on for an extended period of time, it can cause emotional impairment.
HOW TO COPE WITH SAD FEELINGS?
Most of us rely on our coping mechanisms to deal with sad feelings and depressed mood. But sometimes, these techniques are not very effective, for example, a lot of people turn to substance abuse, which sends them into a deeper spiral of sadness.
Such methods make our situation worse, not better. Here are a few things you can do to deal with sadness in a healthy way:
1.
Accept your feelings
Try to embrace your emotions without judging yourself. It's easy to think, “This isn't a big deal, I should not feel so sad about it.” Instead, accept your emotions for what they are.
One great way to practice acceptance and non-judgment is by practicing Mindfulness meditation. Research has shown that practicing mindfulness can change the way your brain responds to sadness. It can also help you recover from sadness faster (1).
2.
Express your feelings
Once you accept your feelings, it's good to pour your heart out. One way to do that is to allow yourself to cry. Instead of suppressing your emotions, you should give them an outlet.
Studies suggest that crying can have a relaxing effect on the body by releasing endorphins — the painkiller hormone. Crying also helps to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body recover from stress and trauma (2).
Another way of expressing your feelings is to write them down. Journaling about people or events that make you sad helps you to process them by fully exploring and releasing the emotions you're feeling.
Also, while you are writing down your feelings, both hemispheres of the brain are engaged in the process, allowing the experience to become fully integrated within your mind.
Talking to a friend or someone else you trust is yet another way to express yourself. Venting out and sharing what you are feeling has a relieving effect as you are no longer holding on to things that are bothering you.
Seeking therapy is one of the best things you can do if you don't have anyone close enough to talk to.
3.
Practice self-care with mental health professional
You can practice self-care in so many different ways. Doing things that you enjoy can help you feel joyful. But if I have to suggest the best practices, they would be exercising, getting sunlight, and watching light and comedy content.
When we exercise, it uplifts our mood and makes us feel productive, because dopamine and endorphins, the feel-good hormones are released into the blood. Hence, exercise is a great way to deal with physical health and mental health problems like sadness, stress, and major depressive disorder.
Exposure to sunlight increases the release of a hormone called serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a mood-boosting hormone and helps a person feel calm and focused. Lack of sun exposure can cause your serotonin levels to dip.
WHAT ARE THE INDICATORS OF PROLONGED SADNESS?
Sadness can build up to worse things and that is when it becomes abnormal; this is the time to seek help through mental health services.
There are some indicators of prolonged sadness:
Constant feelings of hopelessness
Feeling worthless, guilty, or helpless
Decreased energy and fatigue
Decreased/loss of interest in previously fun activities
Loss of appetite/increase in appetite
Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping
Irritability and restlessness
Physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive issues, or chronic pain
Continuous thoughts of ending your life or trying to end it
Feeling anxious or empty (like a void)
Contrary to what we'd like, sadness is ubiquitous and cannot be prevented. More often than not, people who have not experienced sadness or depression tend to judge people who have and call them dramatic or attention seekers.
People who are diagnosed with an extreme type of sadness may need help and appropriate attention and care, in order to resolve their feelings and emotions.
“Some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that’s just the way it is!”
Dita Von Teese
When should you consider reaching out to a professional?
When you are depressed or feeling sad; you tend to have thoughts full of negativity and discomfort which make you feel worse than you already do.
When this happens, allow yourself to feel whatever you're going through, entirely. If you're still overwhelmed and find it unmanageable, you could consult a health professional to help you out.
Please keep in mind that sadness is an emotion as important as happiness; it helps you grow and develop emotionally. However, feeling sadness often can lead to melancholia, if left unresolved.
Hence, a lot of people go for Emotional Freedom Techniques to resolve their feelings of sadness. EFT Tapping techniques are effective for individuals who have problems related to sadness, both physically and mentally.
HOW TO OVERCOME SADNESS WITH EFT TAPPING?
Step 1:
First, use EFT Tapping on what it feels like to feel sadness.
Explore the physical sensations in the body associated with sadness and use the physical tension-tapping process to reduce the sensations.
1.
To get started, begin by investigating the physical nature of negative feelings:
Connect with the sad feelings and notice where you feel it in the body.
Briefly, you can begin by asking yourself the following questions to explore further:
Where in the body do you experience the sadness?
What is the colour, texture, size, and shape of the sadness?
What are the sensations like? For example, rough or smooth.
2.
Measure the level of sadness by asking:
"What number is the sadness at, where 10 is really high and 1 is not high at all."
Go with whatever comes up spontaneously, without thinking too much about it.
3.
Begin by tapping on the karate chop or side of the hand EFT Tapping points:
"Even though I feel very sad, and I feel it in my chest and it is at a number 7 and it's orange in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." (Repeat 3 times).
4.
Tap on the facial EFT Tapping points using these phrases:
Eyebrow: This sadness...
Side of the eye: So much sadness...
Under the eye: Sadness in my chest...
Under the nose: It's a red colour...
Chin: At a number 6...
Collarbone: So rough...
Under the arm: This sadness...
Thumb: I feel it in my chest...
Index finger: So much sadness...
Middle finger: Really sad...
Little finger: The colour red...
5.
Close the sequence by coming back to the EFT karate chop tapping points and repeat once:
"Even though I feel very sad, and I feel it in my chest and it's at a number 7 and it's orange in colour and it feels rough, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
6.
Relax:
Take a gentle breath in, then let it out and take a sip of water.
7.
Test:
At the end of the EFT Tapping, you can ask yourself the following questions:
What number is the sadness at now?
What happened?
How does it make you feel?
You can repeat this process by going back to Step 1 if you feel like the number could come down a little more.
Step 2:
Discover past experiences of feeling sad and clear them.
Explore memories related to sadness and use the Tell the Story and Movie Technique to clear it.
To uncover the memories linked to your sadness, you can ask yourself questions like:
When have you felt these sensations before?
What do these sensations remind you of?
When did the sensations start? What happened?
Was there ever a time when you did not experience these feelings?
What can trigger and bring on feelings of sadness?
Identify past events linked to the sadness and resolve it with the help of tapping therapy.
You can ask the following questions:
When have you felt the sadness before?
What happens to trigger the sadness?
Who or what triggers the feeling of sadness?
These questions will identify your past experiences associated with sadness and depressive symptoms.
Step 3:
Explore any limiting beliefs that prevented you from being happy and content.
Limiting beliefs are thoughts that can be conscious or unconscious. Sometimes, they end up becoming responsible for self-sabotage, procrastination, and low self-esteem, in an individual.
For sadness, first uncover the limiting beliefs which can either be at the surface level or associated with deeper memories. Then work on replacing the stressful beliefs with empowering ones.
For example,
“Something bad is going to happen” to “Everything is going to be OK."
"It's not safe" to "I am safe now."
Step 4:
Close with positive EFT Tapping for overcoming sadness.
Examples of a positive tapping sequence might be:
“Even though I felt sad, now, I am open to feeling happy and joyful.”
“Even though I have been living with this sadness for long, now, I open myself to the possibility of being happy."
EVIDENCE SUPPORTING THE EFFICACY OF EFT TAPPING
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is now used worldwide by millions and clinically shown to reduce depression, anxiety, PTSD, phobias, pain, cravings, negative emotions (for example anger, sadness, grief, fear, hurt, guilt) as well as traumatic memories, creating a feeling of well-being and calm.
One of our participants, Mridula Nair, who is herself a healer, and coach, shared this with us about her experience with EFT: "I was personally dealing with a lot of grief inside, with the loss of a dear one. I was able to come to terms with it and bring myself to peace and acceptance, and this was huge for me."
A research study was conducted to measure if any changes in psychological functioning could result from participation in an experiential Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) workshop and to examine its long-term effects (3).
102 participants were tested with a self-report questionnaire 1 month before, at the beginning of the workshop, at the end of the workshop, 1 month after the workshop, and 6 months after the workshop.
There was a significant decrease in all measures of psychological distress as measured by the questionnaire from pre-workshop to post-workshop which held up at the 6-month follow-up (3).
CONCLUSION
EFT has a long-lasting effect on people who show symptoms of sadness and have undergone emotional distress.
Emotional Freedom Techniques won't make you forget your problems or convince you that you're fine; instead, they will help you dig deeper in order to figure out the root cause of your sadness, after which you will learn to accept it and then grow emotionally.
Every time we have a bad day or feel like nothing is going our way, we need to remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason and we should try and go ahead with the hope that the next day will turn out to be better.
Emotions constantly ebb and flow, so if the sadness does take over you, happiness will too. If we never experience bad days, we wouldn't be able to tell what a good one feels like.
Continue to learn and explore!
Love,
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
P.S. Want to discover if EFT is right for you? Book a Complimentary Discovery Call.
In summary, whether you are experiencing sadness or working with a client who is experiencing sadness, you can try EFT Tapping to promote faster healing. This is a clinically proven technique that can help relieve symptoms of sadness and make one feel calm and at peace in the present moment.
References:
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