“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” Jess C Scott
The one fundamental right of every human being is the right to have a life full of health, vitality, abundance and happiness.
Over the years unwanted stress and emotions take over creating emotional imbalance , sometimes even leading to disease.
In certain situations, extreme stress or emotional trauma can lead to some very debilitating emotional breakdowns.
One of the side effects to extreme stress is a clinical diagnosis called PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
As per the National Center for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), it can be defined as a mental health problem that can result from experiencing extreme stressful situations like war, accident or even sexual assault (1).
While this is one of the more traumatic symptoms of stress, unwanted emotions in daily life can also bring disease, a sense of low self esteem, breakdown in relationships and even career decisions not in our best interests.
In such a situation, it is really important to have a practical tool to be able to eliminate any unwanted emotional residue.
What I experienced is while I went through life experiencing many unwanted emotions such as anger, hatred, stress, and even a phobia of gas cylinders, what helped me most was Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
There was a recent study done on war veterans with symptoms of PTSD.
What was proven was that EFT was extremely effective in eliminating symptoms of EFT and In one clinical trial, veterans’ symptoms dropped by 64% after just 6 hour long sessions.
Some of the symptoms of PTSD include constant nightmares, insomnia, anger, disconnecting from the external world and in extreme cases even causing self harm.
In such a situation a 64% drop in the symptoms could be life transformational!
Infact, Kaiser Permanente is one of the largest hospital systems in the US, taking care of more than 10 million patients each year, say that EFT treats PTSD successfully in 10 sessions or less.
A sergeant who served as a US Army Medic in Desert Storm says, “After EFT I feel released from an emotional prison. My severe hyper-vigilance has been dissolved. I now frequently experience joy and happiness. Mental blocks to creativity and prosperity have been removed.”
There are thousands of stories on how learning EFT as part of a structured Practitioner Training with Vitality Living College can help transform and heal:
Sehjal healed her chronic muscle pain (fibromyalgia)
Dr Rajesh healed his back pain and now helps others to do the same
Daisy helped her son overcome his learning difficulty
Professor Amin’s swelling (edema) cleared
Michael & Uma overcame their fear of public speaking
Nihal and Marie Christie became free from claustrophobia
Jayant increased his income through clients
Apoorvaa overcome her Thyroid imbalance
Emma gave up chocolate cravings and lost weight
Avni felt motivated to start a health program and shed 20kg in weight
In conclusion, EFT is an extremely scientific tool to help even symptoms such as PTSD.
Just Imagine if such profound transformations can occor in war veterans, how much more can you benefit from using EFT in your life.
Your next step would be to attend one of the 3 day EFT Practitioner seminars in:
“Hugs can do great amounts of good.” Princess Diana
You may have heard the old adage “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
New research now shows that hugs and cuddles have long term benefits, and can help the brain, heart and even other physical body systems (1).
While a hug is something very simple and may happen unconsciously everyday, recent studies have shown that even a 10 second hug daily can lower the risk of heart disease, combat stress, ease depression and even has the power to fight infections (2).
So how does hugging really help?
Studies have shown that when we hug, oxytocin is released in our blood stream by the pituitary gland, lowering both the heart rate and cortisol or stress hormone levels in the body (3).
Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone and plays an important part in all pair bonding. It is the same hormone released during childbirth and also while lactating, thereby being one of the reasons for the promotion of bonding between mother and child.
Some of the real medical benefits of hugging is as follows(4).
It can help prevents colds
Causes a decrease in heart rate.
Causes blood pressure to drop.
Causes a decrease in stress hormones cortisol and norepinephrin
Cortisol is one of the steroid hormones released by the adrenal gland. An excess of cortisol in the blood causes high blood pressure, osteoporosis, anxiety, depression and also leads to weight gain, that is really difficult to lose in spite of working out or maintaining a diet plan (5).
Norepinephrin is a substance release from sympathetic nerve fibres. It is responsible for the fight or flight response, forcing contaction of the heart and increasing the heart rate(6).
And these are just the medical benefits.
Virginia Satir, inspirational author, family therapist and creator of the change process model, a psychological method used extensively in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), states that
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”
While there are many ways to hug, research also shows that a proper deep hug, where the hearts are pressing each other can have immense benefits (7).
We have already learnt about the benefits of oxytocin, holding a hug for a long time can also lift one’s seratonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness. So go ahead and give willing loved one’s a hug. It not only feels good, it is also good for your health.
You can also listen to this free healing hugging meditation lead by Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri below, which allows you to connect with yourself, your inner child and increase your oxytocin levels.
In summary, all research only points to one thing, that a hug a day has multiple health benefits and can even aid in improving mental and physical health and vitality. Hugs release the love hormone oxytocin and a hugging your loved ones can leave them and you feeling happy, secure and also improve overall health as well. Here is the Healing Hugging Meditation again.
Donita & Rangana
Hugs and cuddles have long term effects – News in health, February 2007.
A hug a day keeps the doctor away- NewsCom Au, published November 13, 2012.
What is oxytocin – Psychology today.
The health benefits of hugging – U.S News, published February 2016.
What does cortisol do?, Hormone health Network 10 reasons why we need atleast 8 hugs a day – Mind body green, published August 2012.
Norepinephrine – Encyclopedia Britannica
10 reasons why we need atleast 8 hugs a day – Mind body green, published August 2012.
The 5 ways suppressed and unresolved emotions can be harmful.
As a child, when you were happy what did you do? Jump and clap your hands?
How about when you were upset, did you throw a tantrum?
Wasn’t it so easy to feel, express and resolve your emotions then? Until of course someone told you to stop it and you learnt not to show your emotions.
I remember as a child being told “Big girls don’t cry”. As a result I did not cry for over 25 years and bottled everything up.
Crying is just an expression of an emotion. It is not good or bad. It is just an expression. It is a process of letting the sadness, hurt, joy, love and immense gratitude out.
If you vomited would you swallow back your vomit? And yet as adults we are sometimes conditioned not to show or even feel our emotions.
While it is correct that throwing a tantrum in the office would not be accepted or even be considered an ideal working situation, yet it is important to have a means of letting out and expressing emotions in a safe way.
Not just the negative emotions like anger and sadness. Even, the uplifting emotions like joy and excitement.
Instead in some cultures we are taught to dumb things down and dilute expression of emotions, which is after all only a natural process.
Shockingly, suppressed emotions can lead to serious illness like cancer (1).
Feeling, accepting and expressing emotions are natural and necessary for good health.
There are many emotions such as love, happiness, elation, sadness, anger, fears and many more, that we may encounter multiple times, during the course of our daily lives.
Sometimes feeling negative emotions such as anger or fear, can be a little overwhelming and hence we may choose to block them out or even avoid these.
There is an increasing body of evidence that not feeling your emotions can be detrimental to health.
Here are the 5 ways that suppressed and unexpressed emotions can be harmful:
1. Unexpressed anger is known to be linked to cancer
Anger is perhaps one of the most intense emotions, and can bring in a lot of irritation, animosity, aggressiveness or even hostilities.
In fact anger is such a strong emotion, that suppressing anger increases the risk of cancer by 70% (1).
Suppressed anger increases stress hormone cortisol levels, which directly suppresses the immune system function of our bodies.
Studies have also shown that when the immune system is not working properly, normal cells mutate to abnormal cancer cells (2).
I remember a distant relative of mine, being so angry all the time, with her life, her situations, her boss and even with her husband and children. She was known in the family as the angry young woman.
She probably had a deep underlying issue and a reason for so much anger, however she decided to suppress it all and go on living as if everything was fine. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the tender age of 40, and had to have both of her breasts and her lymph glands removed.
To get started and release any pent up or even anger that is ready to burst you can use the Tantrum Tapping Technique below.(3)
2. Stress is linked to 85% of illnesses and once resolved can aid healing
Stress is different emotions bundled up together. Emotions like anxiety, worry, fear, panic and overwhelm.
Simply put, in the dictionary stress is “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.”
Accordingly to the American Medical Association, 85% of known illnesses is stress related. (4).
When stressed, the body thinks it is under attack. The body automatically switches to ‘fight or flight’ mode, thus releasing adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine to prepare the body to be able to take physical action. This means blood is diverted towards the muscles and away from bodily functions like digestion.
There is no harm in temporary stress. However when stress becomes prolonged over time and cortisol remains elevated it can be detrimental to health. For example, increasing sugar levels as well as raising blood pressure.
Elevated cortisol make it harder to loose weight, even when on a regimented diet and exercises plan and can even be responsible for weight gain.
Clinical studies have shown that EFT not only reduces cortisol levels (4), it also reduces the symptoms of extreme stress following trauma, known as PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder), (5).
Sejal Mehta, Trainer and Therapist, was able to become more empathetic using EFT, and overcame a physical issue that caused swelling and pain.
Here is what she had to say “The last 2 days of attending EFT has brought huge physiological, temperamental and attitudinal changes in my life. I have become not only sympathetic but more empathetic. My edema and fibromyalgia (debilitating pain that can takes years to treat) of 7-8 months has disappeared miraculously and after months I have slept so peacefully”
3. Holding onto un-forgivness can lead to diabetes, pain and heart attack
Imagine you were popping a pill for a headache and the pill was so bitter, you bite into it
Doesn’t the bitterness spread through out your mouth? Even sometimes contorting your face? And this is just a bitter pill.
How much more damage can bitterness or un-forgiveness cause our daily lives then?
What’s more studies have shown that the act of forgiveness, could not only lessen the burden of stress from you, it also lessens the risk of a heart attack (6).
To be able to truly forgive, the past hurt or emotional pain has to be freely expressed and then forgiveness comes naturally.
What prevents forgiveness can be the inability to let go or even the resentment, anger and hurt that was caused by the situation.
Importantly with forgiveness any inappropriate behaviors are not being forgiven. Forgiveness is directed towards ourselves as well as the goodness in the other person.
4. Anxiety can lead to panic attacks and even insomnia
Anxiety is a state of extreme worry or severe stress and suppressing this emotion can lead to depression, panic attacks and in severe cases even insomnia and heart attacks. (7)
When a panic attack happens, it could bring with it symptoms like sweating immensely, increased heart rate and even physical pain.
After only one hour of EFT, the symptoms of anxiety and its severity as well as cortisol level was shown to be reduced (4).
Shaliny Boulouk used EFT to relieve her symptoms of anxiety and panic which resulted in her being able to freely travel in the underground, which was not possible before.
5. Fear can stop you from living your passion!
Once fear takes a hold over you, it can cripple you from taking action.
Just Imagine your dream was to become a leader or someone in an upper management position in your organization, and it was a requirement for you to hold constant meetings and even speeches, however you had a fear of speaking to a crowd or a gathering.
Pop! there goes your dream. Just because you let your fear take you over.
It does not allow you to move forward and take action to achieve your goals and dreams.
Once emotions take their hold over you it can feel overwhelming and suppressing them might seem like an easier option. Yet not allowing our emotions to be expressed can be detrimental to health.
So next time you are faced with your emotions, think again and find a way safe and supporting way to express and resolve them. Our personal favorite is EFT.
Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
Don’t bottle up your emotions- It’ll knock years off your life and raise cancer risk by 70 percent – The daily mail UK, article by Pat Hagan
Psycho-oncology – The link between cancer and unexpressed anger.
Tantrum Tapping – Blog, How important is energy? 3 daily exercises to boost yours
Generalized anxiety disorder – The Mayo clinic
Cortisol and anxiety reference – The Effect of Emotional Freedom Techniques on Stress Biochemistry: A Randomized Controlled Trial Church, Dawson PhD*; Yount, Garret PhD†; Brooks, Audrey J. PhD‡ Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease: October 2012 – Volume 200 – Issue 10 – p 891–896
Psychological Trauma in Veterans using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques): A Randomized Controlled Trial, authored by Church, Hawk, Brooks et. al. Published – Society of Behavioral Medicine, Seattle, Apr, 2010
Forgiveness – your health depends on it, John Hopkins Institute
“Reduce the stress levels in your life through relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing and exercise. You’ll look and feel way better for it.” Suzanne Somers
Have you ever had a time when, you were ready to give it all up?
Most of these situations arise from unwanted stress in your lives.
One of the dictionary meanings of stress are ‘A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.’
I have often heard of people having a total nervous breakdown because of stress and worries.
If someone’s nervous system breaks down, you can only imagine the intensity of the damage that unwanted stress can cause.
It is a well known fact that extenuating situations and circumstances can happen at anytime in a person’s lifetime.
The important thing to remember is that no matter how worried we get, the situation will only go away, when we are able to think with an absolute clear mind.
While it may be difficult at first to use your skills in coping with stress, over time practice makes it easy and you are able to cope with more and more stress, allowing life to flow in ease.
It is clinically proven that 85% of all illnesses are because of stress and tension.
To have a truly healthy life emotionally and physically it is really important to eliminate stress completely from our lives.
Life can be a very beautiful experience and every moment even the the one’s we don’t like can be easily dealt with if we just treat it like an experience and stop the overthinking.
Here are 10 quick tips that Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD), is sharing with you. These tips not only eliminate stress, but also help you gain health and vitality. These are really simple and can be incorporated in your life easily.
These 10 tips have been researched and proven to lower stress and gain health considerably, even if you choose to use only one of them.
TIP #1 Daily walk
An early morning walk, not only gets the body moving but also allows you to empty your mind of thoughts. The movement gets the heart rate up and just like any exercise helps your body release endorphins, that constantly keep you happy and stress free. In some cases walking also helps reduce the risk of dementia.(1)
TIP # 2 Eat Healthy
Sometimes when in stress, your hand may want to reach out to that chocolate bar or that salty fresh packet of potato chips. The smarter choice however is to reach out for a salad bowl or a hearty vegetable soup or fresh fruit can actually help your body to release hormones that fight stress naturally.(2)
TIP #3 DRINK WATER
My mom always said, “Water is the elixir of life.” I never really understood this until recently when I was doing some intensive reading about the benefits of drinking water.
She always handed me a glass of water when I was stressed, angry or even upset and I would instantly feel calm.
Apparently keeping yourself hydrated can reduce the cortisol (stress hormones) levels, thereby eliminating stress.(3)
There is also a technique known as ‘Interrupt the pattern’, so for example if you are stressed at work and in a heated meeting just picking up a glass of water and drinking it will force the breathing pattern to change, thereby reducing your stress levels.
TIP # 4 Have a hobby
Having a hobby can create a happy feeling from within, thereby not allowing the stress to take over your life, eventually completely eliminating it.
I personally love gardening as working with soil is almost like a spa massage to my hands and since plants release oxygen, being around them always leaves me feeling refreshed.
TIP # 5 Meditate
You can meditate at anytime. It is a myth that you have to learn meditation.
A simple way to use meditation is, sit down comfortably. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Breathe out through your mouth. Only keep your focus on your breath. You can use this simple technique for as long as you are comfortable. Gently open your eyes.
Just 10 minutes a day can help you reduce anxiety, stress and even improve your cardiovascular activity(4)
TIP # 6 Breathing exercises
We are breathing all the time. There is however a difference between conscious breathing and unconscious breathing. Breathing deeply allows your heart rate to stabilize and also calms down your brain and emotions, reducing the cortisol levels in the body.(3)
TIP # 7 Yoga
Yoga is a proven technique that uses the combination of light exercising poses and breath work. Yoga is known to reduce the heart rate and relax the mind.
In addition, yoga also helps your body gain flexibility through it’s stretching exercises.
TIP # 8 Tapping with EFT
EFT is clinically proven to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, fears and phobias to help live a happy and stress free life.
Even professional athletes of the highest level use EFT to improve their performance at a game, and in their personal lives too! (5)
There were clinical studies conducted on war veterans with PTSD . Only after 6 sessions of EFT 90% were free from the symptoms of PTSD. (6)
You can also learn EFT and to get started you can download a free booklet here.
TIP # 9 Let go of the past
Often we hold on to past bad memories, that result in unwanted stress. This can then lead to overthinking and in extreme cases depression . By being able to let go of past it allows the stress to come down. While the past cannot be changed, the emotion associated with the past memory can be changed using Breakthrough coaching with NLP. The intensity of the pain in the memory can definitely be reduced.
Sometimes the issue or the problem may not be as big as we make it out to be.
It is important to review the problem as something that is only temporary and look at possible solutions from a different point of view.
Just imagine, If you were to advise someone about an issue or a problem, how would you do it? Would you look at the issue practically or stress yourself out? And what advise would give that person?
Sometimes a shift in perspective gives an entire new angle to the problem creating the stress and worry.Coping with stress is a skill set and like every skill, it can be learnt and practiced every day to ensure a happy and health life. You now have 10 tips to choose from to not only reduce stress, but also improve health.
8 reasons why walking is good for your health – Tesco Living
Stress and your diet – Everyday health
Water and stress reduction : Sipping stress away – Web MD
Meditation, Stress and your health – Web MD
How professional athletes use tapping – Nick Ortner
Psychological Trauma in Veterans using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques): A Randomized Controlled Trial, authored by Church, Hawk, Brooks et. al. Published – Society of Behavioral Medicine, Seattle, Apr, 2010
5 tips to clear it now! Free inner cleansing meditation.
“We can bring positive energy into our daily lives by smiling more, talking to strangers in line, replacing handshakes with hugs, and calling our friends just to tell them we love them.” Brandon Jenner
Have you ever felt that your energy was being zapped by other people?
Or that you are were being drained by a situation at home or work.
You just wanted to run away from it all or curl up in a huddle and wish it would go away?
Sometimes when negativity creeps in, efforts to find the much needed peace and calm can feel like a herculean task.
Especially when everything feels out of balance on the outside, the sense of overwhelm can just take over and leave no room for positivity or peace.
Negativity can arise from many situations. Sometimes a simple fight at home or work can be responsible for upsetting the entire balance of emotions.
This is exactly what happened to me.
When I worked in the corporate world, I had a boss who was never happy with whatever I did at work. This often led to me to be stressed out most of the times.
I even brought home my stress and had the worst fights ever with my family members.
What’s more this negativity translated to non- performance at work and even showed up on my appraisals.
It was many years later that I attended Breakthrough Coaching with NLP, with DrRangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD), that I learnt how I was programmed to act and behave in times of stress.
I learnt about what triggered me and only then was I able to understand how to not let negativity affect me .
Sometimes the outer world is a simple reflection of what goes on inside us.
While we feel that all negativity comes from outside or others, most often than not , you would find the issue within yourself.
After attending EFT In Mumbai, I was able to get to the root of the negativity inside of me and eliminate it from there.
Author and Coach Deepak Chopra says, “As is the microcosm, so is the macrocosm. As is the atom, so is the universe. As is the human mind, so is the cosmic mind.”
This all translates to only one thing. Negativity can be effectively removed if we eliminate it from deep within ourselves.
These are the same steps that help me every time I get an indication of a negative situation arising and afterwards I am left feeling positive, excited and yet calm and centered.
Once you know how they are so easy to do. So here are the steps below.
TIP #1 – Shake off the negative energy
Animals are used to having a good shake off, leaving them feeling at peace and energised.
So shake off the negative energy by following these steps:
Stand up and take a few deep breaths from your nose and exhale through your mouth
Shake your feet one at a time.
Now slowly starting shaking your legs, hips, shoulders and arms.
Shake off all the negative energy from your body.
When you’re done stand still and place your hand on your heart.
Feel the energy of positivity pulsating as raised vibrations through out your body spreading inner peace.
TIP # 2 – Detach from the negativity
A negative attachment can arise at anytime as a result of a person or situation that triggers a feeling of being upset, angry, fearful, sad, hurt, guilty, disappointed or shut down.
Examples of negativity situations involve being scolded by a loved one, political agendas at work, hurtful communications, verbal abuse and toxic family arguments.
You can use a simple process known as detachment (2) to create distance between any person or situation and detach from the negativity or dis-empowering feelings leaving you feeling in control and more centered.
Begin by bringing into your awareness what issue or problem needs to be resolved.
Then make a prayer or intention to be free from the old problem or challenge.
In one of the circles imagine yourself.
In the other circle visualize all your negativity or the issue
that you have and want to detach from.
Take a few deep breaths and visualise this for 2-3 minutes.
When you are ready you may open your eyes.
“The truth is no one can take your power from you. Only you can choose to give it away.” Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD)
In closing, while it is really important to eliminate negative energies from within, it is also important to build a protective circle and constantly reinforce it with meditation and other techniques to constantly have positivity and inner peace throughout.
Love Donita & Team Vitality
Inner Peace and Harmony authored by Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD), Published – April 2012 by Aparajita Publishing
Detachment – The secret to Infinite Peace authored by Ranjana and Eddie Appoo
Can happiness be attained on the outside? The 7 keys to happiness!
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi
I have often wondered in the past, “Is there such a thing as true happiness?”
There was a time when I had turned to shopping, expensive hobbies, and eating gourmet food for happiness.
While they provided instant gratification, that’s exactly what they were, instant gratification.
This temporary happiness lasted for a maximum of a week, and then I was back to square one, looking for it on the outside.
Google executive Mo Gawdat, talks about happiness.(1) While he lost his son suddenly on a holiday, he says that “Happiness is not about what the world gives you, it’s about what you think the world gives you.”
He could have chosen to stay closeted all his life and cry for his loss, what he chose to do though was ‘accept the harsh reality of what was, as it is.’
For me though things got bad to worse and I was always on the look out for happiness, trying to push myself harder in the hope of attaining it.
The result was only frustration and stress as I could not manage to attain permanent happiness and the peace of mind, most people crave for.
It was only after I attended the EFT Seminar in Mumbai, that I realized I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
Motivational speaker Jay Shetty says, “Let’s not make happiness and success about the size of our homes. Let’s redefine happiness as to the size of our hearts. Let’s not make it about gratification, but about gratitude.” (2)
We have put together 7 quintessential keys to happiness below.
It helped me realize that true happiness and inner peace only can come from within, and no amount of external circumstances or gratification could quench my thirst for happiness.
The 7 keys to happiness
1. Accept what is – This is probably one of the most difficult thing to do. Situations happen all the time. While it is sometimes human nature to fight what is happening, at times even denying the absolute truth.
The only way to be happy is to accept what is happening. I found it really difficult at first however tapping with EFT really helped me.
If you don’t have the tapping sequence, you can download a free Booklet here.
2. Live in the present – Your past may have had hurt, un-forgiveness and pain, the future may be equally daunting.
While it may be not easy, the trick is to live in the present moment and not have the urge to rush through to the next.
In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle gives a very simple message that living in the now is the truest path to happiness and enlightenment.(3)
When I attended The Journey Seminar I also learnt how staying in the ‘now’ is what also helps in experiencing total and complete freedom. To download a free booklet on A Journey to healing, click here
3. Do what makes you happy- This is a very important step, as sometimes we tend to ignore our own personal needs, possibly because we put the needs of others before ours. This step also requires a lot of contemplation as you really need to think deeply about what truly makes you happy. And then just do it.
Just imagine if money or other resources were not an issue, what would you truly love to do?
4. Write a happiness journal – Keeping a daily happiness journal can be one of the best exercises possible, because writing down your happy or peaceful moments can constantly re – condition your mind to be happy. Not just that, when you are really down and low, you can simply read a page and instantly raise the vibration of that moment.
5. Get to the root of unhappiness – It is a proven theory that change happens from within. In such situations it is really important to get to the root of unhappiness and root it out from there. EFT is one method that helps you get to the root of the issue, with as little trauma as possible.
Sometimes there may even be secondary gain and you may be unconsciously accepting this state of unhappiness. I realized this when I attended the Breakthrough Coaching with NLP Seminar in Mumbai, and I was able to uncover my secondary gains associated my emotional conflicts.
See below to download a free booklet on the 7 steps to creating the life you want.(4)
6. Understand the others point of view – Most often than not, unhappiness also results from stress and fights in our relationships.
Fights often happen because we are more focussed on getting our point of view through than understanding the person in front of us.
The best way is just to stop for a moment and try to decode what message the person is trying to give us.
No two people are the same and this could be a very important step to bring back the happiness in life. it is only through this understanding you are able to resolve conflicts within yourself and the relationships around you.
When I attended Breakthrough Coaching with NLP, there was this profound process, that enabled be to step into the other persons shoes and actually feel what the other person is feeling inside.
I was really shocked to discover that it’s not always, that someone is trying to exert force on you, sometimes it’s just their soul calling out for help. Letting you know, that they’re insecure and need a shoulder.
7. Exercise daily – Exercising daily is proven to release endorphins that make you happy. So even if it is just a 10 minute walk daily, exercise. To know how you can exercise your mind, check out our last blog. How important is energy? 3 daily exercises to boost yours.This will keep your energy levels high and also help you stay happy.
In conclusion, while the keys given above might seem difficult at first, regular practice can bring about that much needed happiness and inner peace. The more we understand how we function emotionally and build a better relationship with ourselves, the happier we will be
Love Donita & Team Vitality
1 Channel 4 news. An algorithm for happiness
2 Redefining Happiness – Street Philosophy with Jay Shetty
3 The Power of Now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle.
How important is energy? 3 daily exercises to boost yours!
“Feeling tired should almost never be an excuse, because your body has huge reserves of energy.” – Hale Irwin
Imagine an electrical appliance. You decide to use it, and plug it in.
Nothing happens. It doesn’t work. What do you do?
Check the electrical circuits right? Because now you know something’s wrong.
Just like an electrical appliance, the human body also has energy circuits called meridians flowing throughout the body and even externally in one’s aura (known as the Auric Field).
These circuits or meridians can influence emotional and mental wellbeing and hence it’s critical to keep the energy flowing freely through them, without any disruptions.
Based on Chinese medicine there are 12 energy meridians:
Large intestine meridian
Small intestine meridian
Triple heater meridian
Gall bladder meridian
It is these energy meridians flowing throughout our body that can make us feel energised if flowing freely or low in energy if they become blocked.
By tapping on these energy meridians using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) you can also harness the power of the body and mind to live the life you want, achieve your goals, enable peace of mind and health.
While reviving this energy at times may seem time consuming, once you learn EFT just 5 minutes a day can bring back the zest in your life.
Over the years stress, accumulated emotions, sedentary lifestyle and many other factors leave you depleted of this energy, and even sometimes disrupts the flow, leading to disease and emotional issues.
If there have been times when you have felt exhausted, even though you’ve just woken up or are unable to perform any tasks effectively, or even have a lack of interest in overall life, chances are your energy flow has been disrupted and hence, you are unable to function at your highest potential.
There may be times when, while clearing energy disruptions emotions may rise to the surface.
It is important to remember that these emotions come up so that they could be released, and these can be easily eliminated by simply using the EFT Tapping sequence. To know what this sequence is, download a Free Booklet here.
Meditation is also a process which can enable the energy fields within and outside the body to become in balance, hence creating harmony and inner peace.
3 DAILY ENERGY EXERCISES
To get started straight-away below you will find 3 daily energy exercises which you can practice right now.
They are easy to follow and will allow the energy in your meridians to flow freely, allow negativity to be released and leave you feeling refreshed and energised.
1. Tantrum tapping
This is one of my favorite tapping sequences, not just because it instantly revives my energy but because I feel like a child again.
As the name suggests one of the main benefits to this is to calm down anger, tantrums or even an emotional overwhelm.
Begin by tapping the point just below your collar bone on your sore spot with your fists closed.
Tap your feet at the same time, just like you would while throwing a tantrum.
You could even shout out loud if you like.
2. Thymus Tapping
Thymus Tapping is very effective if you have a respiratory disorder like a cough or a cold as it boosts your immune system.
Begin by locating your thymus, just in the center of your chest, again this spot will feel a little sore if you press it.
You can either use the tips of your fingers or roll your fists into a ball
Now tap on this point for a few minutes while breathing in through your nose and breathing out through your mouth.
3. The Cross Crawl (1)
Cross crawl harmonizes the left and right side of the body allowing energy to flow freely in both directions.
Begin by locating the tapping point just below your collar bone
If you have found a soft spot that feels raw/ slightly painful to the touch, you have found your first tapping point.
Tap on this point for 15- 20 seconds.
Lift your right arm and left leg at the same time. Continue this exaggerated marching for at least a minute swinging opposite arm and leg across the mid section of the body.
Breathe in deeply from your nose and breathe out through your mouth.
In closing, while there may be many reasons for energy disruptions, it is really important to eliminate energy disruption from the root of the issue with techniques like EFT. You can get started straight-away by practicing the 3 simple exercises of Tantrum Tapping, Thymus Tapping and Cross Crawl to boost you energy, wellness and vitality.
So what are you waiting for? You can get started now.
“Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than a science.” – Bruno Bettelheim
How important is it to you to raise happy and successful children?
One of the keys to raising happy and successful children is effective communication. When there is a breakdown in communication the child is not able to perceive love and fell that they can be successful or happy.
I remember a time when I saw bruises on my son’s body. I didn’t know what happened and I kept asking him all day long, “What happened?”
His only answer was “Nothing happened.”
I became increasing frustrated, worried and scared. His silence caused me to become even more stressed and I projected my negativity onto him.
It strained our relationship further and eventually he shut-down and preferred playing on his video games then speaking to me.
As a parent I was heart-broken, lost and felt sad.
I kept judging myself for being a bad parent and why did I raise my voice at him and I was also scared about his bruises and felt helpless and useless as a mom.
All I wanted to do was love and protect my son.
My son’s grades dropped and he began isolating himself from the world outside.
For a parent, nothing is worse than seeing your child going on a downward spiral, when all you want is for them to be happy and to do their best.
Dr Shilpa Gupta, Director of Child Mental Health Foundation & Parent Coach says, “that unless as parents, we have a sound emotional relationship with ourselves, we will never be able to have it with our children.”
She goes on to share “According to research emotions such as anger, hate, fear, anxiety and stress get stored in the frontal lobes. This causes the person to operate from a place of flight, fright and freeze rather than from what is the best for the child and parent. Once the parents emotions are emptied out only then can a meaningful communication transpire.”
While children are really open to releasing emotions and can forgive easily, they are also like clay and often tend to imitate their parents in their behaviors.
All I have to do when I’m wrong is say sorry to my son and I get a tight hug.
All is forgiven and forgotten.
In such a situation, the responsibility lies with the parent to release those emotions that do not serve a purpose, and to be a role model to their children so that children pick up on those habits and emotions and walk on the road to success.
The sooner a parent is able to release unwanted emotions, the sooner the child is able to make a connection to their parent.
The most effective method to release those unwanted emotions are EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which is clinically proven to eliminate stress, anger, anxiety and even fear.
I remember after The EFT Seminar that I attended in Mumbai, I started practicing EFT regularly at home.
I became calmer and I found I was able to give my son the space to be himself and not force him to speak or communicate.
I kept loving him and mostly importantly EFT helped me to love and accept myself.
My son only watched and imitated me. He noticed how I was changing from the inside.
A week down the line my son said to me, “You remember you asked me about all those marks on my body? Our maid used to hit me with a broom when you and Dad went to work.”
That was the most shocking moment of my life. And the most enlightening too!
I realized that changes within my son only occurred when I was able to release my stress and frustration at his lack of communication and then he felt safe and comfortable to share what had happened with me.
I am now, of course, his new best friend!
This is how Dr Shilpa Gupta a ‘Parenting Coach’ and a Vitality Living College EFTTrainer, helps and guides parents who come to her.
Dr Gupta has trained and coached hundreds of parents all over India. For the past 7 years more than 2000 parents, 500 caretakers and 400 teachers have attended her workshops and benefitted from the skills.
She quotes, “EFT is a quick, easy and effective tool to work on emotions. It doesn’t require a high IQ, qualifications, language to learn this tool.”
How do you love and value yourself? – Low self-esteem the silent saboteur
“Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.” Nathaniel Branden
Have you ever experienced that time, when nothing goes your way? Relationships get sour, The boss is always breathing down your neck, and you don’t feel good about yourself and just want to give it all up?
The chances are there are some self- sabotaging programs running in your consciousness, without even you even knowing it.
One of these silent saboteurs are low self-esteem or low self- love. Low self-esteem can arise from many different reasons, Family conditioning, past hurt, anger failures and much more. Surprisingly most of the people going through low self esteem issues don’t even realize it until there is professional intervention.
The first time I encountered low self-esteem issues within myself, my first reaction was – “But I do love and value myself”. It was only through some really deep work through Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), did I become aware of how I really had really let myself get pulled deeper and deeper and disconnected from myself
I used to think that loving myself was shopping. Oh boy! was I wrong. At the 3 day EFTSeminar in Mumbai, I realized that all of the needless shopping was only my way of dealing with my low self-esteem. Unfortunately, it did how help me overcome what was really at the root of it all.
At the EFT Seminar, I was able to get to the root of all of the layers of unwanted emotions and eliminate them from there. The result – All the unnecessary shopping stopped. What was even more amazing was that I could see my future clearly, my relationships improved and I saw an overall improvement in the quality of my life.
One of the stories that I came across at the EFT Seminar, never ceases to amaze me is that of Smita Pande. Here’s what she had to say, “I have had a good life, however, I never knew what genuine happiness actually is. The only thing I wanted to do in life was to recognise my potential. When the EFT training session ended, I sensed a complete emotional transformation, finally experiencing the true happiness. Right after the workshop, I chose a different road for my life. This ‘new journey’ was the one taken to discover myself. My first step was to do something of my own, so I decided to become a counsellor.”
Smi “I felt confident and empowered as these baby steps progressively matured and expanded. I feel blessed that I followed EFT as a tool that appease all the life challenges I faced. Physically and emotionally, I feel gratitude for everything I have which has helped me achieve peace and happiness from deep within. I get tremendous joy in helping my family, friends and clients by releasing their negative emotions and making them feel empowered and happy,”Smita adds.
In closing, although it may not seem like much at the onset, low self -esteem issues can be debilitating to the overall quality of your life, and may arise at any time. It doesn’t take a lot to start blaming and undervaluing yourself. What is important is that you are able to pull yourself out of it with the right tools. You can start uncovering all your buried emotions by using EFT.Just download our free booklet here.
Then your next step would be to attend EFT Trainings are in Delhi, Mumbai and Pune
Can popping pills be potentially harmful? How I stopped unnecessary medication
“Therefore in medicine we ought to know the causes of sickness and health.”– Avicenna
There was a time when I used to run to the pharmacy every time I felt the beginning of a pain or an illness.
Yes I did suffer from the most painful migraine and practically, stayed in bed the entire day heavily drugged, from all the medication I took to lessen the pain. I would be relieved for a few days and then the pain would just come back. Yes I was tired of dealing with pain. If it wasn’t the headache , it would be another part of the body aching.
I just wanted to be free, so I did the best thing I could possibly think of. I took a paracetamol every day irrespective of whether I had pain or not. I didn’t know what the consequences were at that time. After a few years I went for my annual check up and realized that I had type 2 diabetes. On further investigation what came to light was that, the excessive medication had destroyed the beta cells in my liver resulting in diabetes.
Now I had to live with pain and diabetes.
This was my breakthrough moment. I gave up all the pills and started researching about more holistic methods to get rid of the pain and get back my overall health.
What I learnt was that my body was giving me these signals all along and I just chose to ignore it, till it really affected me in a big way.
My personal research led me to find evidence that ‘stress’ was the big killer here, leading to the migraine and other aches and pains all over my body. My emotional health had been tossed out of the window and I was at an all-time low in life.
That is when I was fortunate enough to attend Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner training seminar with Dr Rangana Rupavi Choudhuri (PhD). I learnt about how EFT helped Dr Choudhuri with her migraine (Look out for Dr Choudhuri’s story).
Needless to say the stress has left me, my bodily aches and pains have not come back since.
In conclusion, physical ailment or disease may manifest as a result of underlying emotional issues. For example:
Headaches – Headaches are a sign that there is too much stress in one’s life.
Shoulder ache – Shoulder ache’s are a sign of too much responsibility or burden.
Hip ache – May be resulting from unresolved issues such as fears, phobias and may be also realated to financial security.
Leg/Knee pain – Knee or leg pain is generally related to the fear of progress, or the unknown future.
There are many such ailments that may have a root cause that is totally unexpected. To get to the root cause of what’s been disturbing you, try EFTby downloading a free booklet
If you do have constant aches and pains learn how you can eliminate the pain with minimum or no medication.